Keep Your Circle of Friends, Small

The Smaller the Circle

When you live and work in residential apartment buildings, you don’t have much time for close friendships. Your job is never ending and it is hard to get away for any length of time, as anything could happen. Being on call is the worst, especially when you are it and have to handle it all on your own. I use to laugh, as the phone would always ring when I was in the middle of doing something personal and I had to drop it and look after the work thing, depending on how urgent it was. But, I was usually interrupted so you get into the habit of not doing too much that could be interrupted! 🙂

Family gatherings was always hard, as I would end up leaving hubby at home to deal with any possibilities and I went alone. I didn’t make friends with tenants either, so I didn’t have much time for friendships so the ones I did have, were long standing friends I had for many years and we could keep in touch at a distance, not much demand for in person meetings, as I didn’t have the time anyway.

When all this started in 2018, I did lose some friends, even some family, but it wasn’t over the sites nor its contents, it was my fault, as I became a hermit for about 2 yrs and didn’t speak to anyone. I shut myself off.

I distanced myself out of shame of being a target and I felt so embarrassed for bringing all this into their lives. My sister, my niece, her partner and their 4 children, my youngest son and his fiance, the property owners, he lawyers, the staff at all these agencies, all were being attacked because I choose to file for eviction on these tenants and their persistent refusals of access. I was made to feel it was my fault by their reactions of dismay and anger as well as the Bullies words and actions. I was the scapegoat and I felt like it. I closed myself off. I was so depressed and felt so hopeless most of the time, for so long. I sat there, in my PJ’s, headphones on, trying to hide and not be seen nor heard, even from my own husband. I became very good at it!

I remember one specific time, in December 2019, I looked at my cell phone and noticed I had no calls, no texts, from anyone, friends nor family, for 3 whole months. It struck me, really badly, and I knew it was my own fault, I shut people out. Even my parents at times left me alone, but they usually were the ones who didn’t give up and called me all the time. I knew I had to wake up and DO something for myself, this was not me. I don’t do defeat, never did.

If I was a defeatist, I wouldn’t have had the determination to get back on my feet after the fire! While in counselling, seeing a psychiatrist at Scarborough General Mental Health Clinic, I learned it was my PTSD. I had to re-learn to manage my PTSD symptoms and he added the complex to it, due to the Bullying I went thru, which came with some different symptoms.

Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD; also known as complex trauma disorder)[1] is a psychological disorder that can develop in response to exposure to an extremely traumatic series of events in a context in which the individual perceives little or no chance of escape, and particularly where the exposure is prolonged or repetitive.[2] In addition to the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), an individual with C-PTSD experiences emotional dysregulation, negative self-beliefs and feelings of shame, guilt or failure regarding the trauma, and interpersonal difficulties.[2] C-PTSD relates to the trauma model of mental disorders and is associated with chronic sexual, psychological, and physical abuse or neglect, or chronic intimate partner violence, victims of kidnapping and hostage situations, indentured servants, victims of slavery and human trafficking, sweatshop workers, prisoners of war, concentration camp survivors, residential school survivors and prisoners kept in solitary confinement for a long period of time. It is most often directed at children and emotionally vulnerable adults, and whilst motivations behind such abuse vary, though mostly being predominantly malicious, it has also been shown that the motivations behind such abuse can be well-intentioned.[3] Situations involving captivity/entrapment (a situation lacking a viable escape route for the victim or a perception of such) can lead to C-PTSD-like symptoms, which can include prolonged feelings of terror, worthlessness, helplessness, and deformation of one’s identity and sense of self.[4]

C-PTSD has also been referred to as Disorders of Extreme Stress Not Otherwise Specified or DESNOS.[5]

I was severely stressed out and it took a lot of hard work on myself to get out of that, to be able to function! I felt dead inside, and I fought my way out of that, all on my own. I had too, no one else would do it for me.

You know what helped me in the beginning? The very fact that I survived having 2 broken legs, smashed knees, broken face, and various 2nd and 3rd degree burns and I lived with 2 1/2 yrs of strenuous physio learning to walk again, various surgeries on my legs to repair them, and once deal with a bad infection, screws backing up from the hardware and 5 years of extensive counselling for PTSD and mental health issues related to the fire and physical damage to my body. I went thru all that and not only survived, but I thrived for many years! I did that, I could do this. I had it in me to get thru all of this. 

I just had to find it. I had to relearn my emotions and how to describe them, let alone feel them. I had to face all my feelings and question them, find things that showed me I didn’t need to feel them, they are not mine to feel. The shame, it wasn’t mine, as I didn’t do any of this to my friends and family, Adult Tenant Bullies, Kory & Allison Read, did. They broke the rules, I did my job. Simple really when you take away the BS.

I took every action of theirs and picked it apart and broke it down to traits being shown, not the actual words, but the meaning behind them writing them and what they want readers to see. This opened my eyes and I was able to see more in their actions than I did before.

As an example, I will use the wording on this site, sjtomemberkevinlundy.com I have saved. As their domains are parked and forwarded to the Internet Archive, I assume it hasn’t changed since the last time I saved this info…

This site came online December 21, 2019. It was over a year since it started and stellareddy.com and davidstrashin.com were there with 859kennedyroad.com already. As this site was not just geared towards dissing me, I was able to look at it a bit more objectively and it helped me to distance myself from the emotional reactions.

The very first paragraph, you see Kory Read catagatorily state what the adjudicator was doing, like he could read minds or knew what this person was thinking. I came to see this paragraph as Gaslighting, as they don’t know what they claim here is even true. I would really like to know how Kory Read could claim that someone was knowingly allowing someone else do something!

Physically point at. Once again Kory Read is stating what someone else has done, and expects you to believe them. Yes, I said those words, with others. I didn’t know better at the time, and I was upset over hearing details of this alleged prior meeting they tried to claim we had, but I didn’t point at anyone. I got counselling for my actions that day and I know my mistakes.

As for the word of mulatto, I said the word, otherwise how was the adjudicator to know what they accused me of, if I didn’t say it? If I didn’t say it, I am sure they would have. I had to ask my niece what they word meant, as I didn’t know. I first heard this word from Kory & Allison Read’s letter remember? They gave me the word but turn around and claim I said it first?

As for the kids being there with them? There was only one, the youngest boy. What type of parents takes a young boy, that he was at the time, to a hearing like that where it would be decided whether to evict them from their apartment? The people who exposed this young boy to all that, were his own parents for bringing him there! That boy wouldn’t have heard anything if the parents didn’t bring him there! How am I to blame for that? 

If Kory Read didn’t want his son exposed to that, he should have left him in school where he should have been that day, not sitting in that hearing room listening to all that! No child should be exposed to any hearing at the landlord and tenant board!

I am a very proud Newfie from Newfoundland and I don’t care if he is offended and finds it “unwanted harassment”. Kory Read can’t take my right away on how I identify myself, it a human rights violation, all the things he tried to claim I did to them!  Hypocrisy once again!

The only person to portray these people in this manner is, Kory & Allison Read. You don’t see any of these words from anyone, just them. They wrote them, it is from their minds these words came from. They can perceive all they want, it don’t make it true, does it? Nope!  stereotypical, ill–mannered, ill–tempered, loud, aggressive, demanding and uncivilized Angry Black Woman ( Sapphire ).

This sentence is something else. Once again placing blame on others for what they didn’t accomplish that day and once again, adamantly stating it was my fault for “distracting” them. Of course, Kory Read will never admit to his own interable behaviour at the hearing that day, but it forever saved online. He shared the whole audio of the hearing and you can clearly hear the goading Kory Read does, not only with me but with the audience in the room, as you can tell by the laughter you hear. Kory Read stood in this room, you can hear it on the audio, and stated he did verbally abuse me that day at their apartment door, and you will hear his excuse that he was upset over me not bringing a contractor with me to do the work. You will also hear in the audio, how Kory Read states no one was getting in to the apartment when no one was home as it his stuff in there and he don’t want to worry about any of it going missing.

This was the beginning of the end for me, when this site came out. I wasn’t so caught up emotionally in this one, so it helped me to distance my emotions from all of it!

As I came to understand and see all that with this domain, I thought I could do it with all domains and their contents.  I was able to shut off my emotional reactions and just look at their words and see what they are doing. Pick it apart and see the intentions behind it, just like every post on stellareddy.com has a purpose, so do all of the others. I started seeing all that and it started making me feel better.

Kory Read stood in this hearing and admits to breaking the rules but tries to give excuses to why he did that. The only reason they didn’t present their defense / case properly was because they had no case to present, as there is never a good excuse to break the rules of apartment living. He learned this the hard way.

  • verbally insult, humiliate, disrespect, embarrass, degrade and harass the interracial married couple / tenants with their racist, prejudice, discriminatory behavior and victimization of the interracial married couple / tenants, they became increasingly frustrated with the system and distracted by the Caucasian Applicants intolerable and unacceptable behavior during the public hearing, which resulted in the interracial married couple / tenants not being able to present their defense / case properly.

The racist Caucasian Social Justice Tribunal of Ontario ( SJTO ) member Kevin Lundy maliciously and intentionally enabled and authorized the Caucasians Applicants Stella Reddy, Luigi Liscio and his son Anthony Liscio to engage in racist, prejudice, discriminatory behavior and victimization of the interracial married couple / tenants during a Landlord Tenant Board ( LTB ) hearing in front of him on September 26, 2017 by knowingly allowing the Caucasian Applicants to…

  • physically point at and use the female of the interracial married couple / tenants as a black prop during the public hearing while using a racist slur and colorism to describe and compare the Respondents complexion to Stella Reddy’s nephew, stating

“ My Nephew is as black as you can get. ( then while pointing at the Respondent ) He’s even darker than  she is! “

  • again label the interracial married couple / tenants two bi–racial children, who were present with the racist slur “ Mulatto ” which is used to refer to individuals born of one white parent and one black parent. The term is considered to be derogatory and offensive and stems from the times of slavery.
  • use the offensive, derogatory and prejudice word “ Newfie ”on different occasion throughout the public hearing as unwanted harassment.
  • portray the female of the interracial married couple / tenants as a stereotypical, ill–mannered, ill–tempered, loud, aggressive, demanding and uncivilized Angry Black Woman ( Sapphire ).
  • verbally insult, humiliate, disrespect, embarrass, degrade and harass the interracial married couple / tenants with their racist, prejudice, discriminatory behavior and victimization of the interracial married couple / tenants, they became increasingly frustrated with the system and distracted by the Caucasian Applicants intolerable and unacceptable behavior during the public hearing, which resulted in the interracial married couple / tenants not being able to present their defense / case properly.

As a result of all this Bullying of myself, I haven’t felt safe enough to bring anyone else in this mess my life was, but I know I need human connection, we all do. I have been opening up my life, not just in person but also online within facebook and this site. I am showing the world who I am, my thoughts and feelings and showing how terribly I was abused by tenants and in the process I am learning what is important. Having a lot of people in my life, that will put emotional pressure on me, is not it. I am content with the couple of close friends I have, and my family. I don’t need more, I don’t have the emotional energy for more demands on my time and physical efforts. But, I will talk to anyone and enjoy meeting new people. I do now do things in my community, I even talk to my neighbours.

This situation did remove some other toxic people from my life and I am grateful for that. I know the value now of people and I am picky over who I allow in my personal life, thanks to all this. I learned a very valuable lesson, not everyone will have your best interest at heart and other people can, and will, turn on you when they don’t get their way. Tell a toxic person “no” to something and see for yourself! I don’t want nor need any of that in my life these days, I had enough.

I have learned to like my own company, as I can expand the energy I have, on myself and what I want to do. I am never lonely, someone is only a call away, but I enjoy being alone with my own thoughts and my mental and physical therapy. I work on myself, so those who are in my life, get the best version of me they can. 

As the poster says, the smaller the circle is, the less snakes and rats you have to worry about. The less people I have in my life these days, the less chance I will come across another narcissistic bully and the more peace I get to have. That is a choice I make very happily! After all, my job is to look after myself, not anyone else!

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