June 2, 2022 Ramblings by Stella Reddy
I have been reading some articles on Quora Digest lately and found this one recently and thought to share. I like how this man writes, he is pragmatic and honest, at least to me.
I was never able to accept some of the wisdom of others, like the list in the beginning below. I too think these platitudes came about from a Narcissist, as a way to get their targets to ignore what they do, so they can continue.
I know from my own experience with Tenant Bullies, Kory & Allison Read, that ignoring them, only makes them worse! All you need to do is look at the email Kory Read just had to send me March 1, 2020, all because I was quiet for about a year. I was ignoring them, I moved away and started to rebuild my life, and they just could not stand it and had to remind me they were there, that those sites were there. I have similar emails from the past 6 years, whenever I became quiet. Kory Read Sent This Email March 1, 2021 to Bait Emotional Response
I came to see for myself the truth of this paragraph below!
Sadly many onlookers will be swayed by the argument that there is no smoke without fire, and as you keep the truth locked up tight, there is a small army out there fanning the flames of lie and gossip with unfettered abandon. If you think that your reputation will survive intact, that your stiff upper lip will win the day, that karma will somehow deal with the perpetrators of such evil soon enough, I’m afraid that you are kidding yourself.
The more quiet I was, the more gossip I heard!
I sat there, for way too long, from August 2016 till I quit July 4, 2018, because I gave into the pressure from others to “stay quiet” and not give Kory Read any more ammunition to twist around with his gaslighting. I even had a couple of tenants claim that I was quiet, as I was guilty…I was seeing this situation become unmanageable, as they just would not quit, and staying quiet was not the answer. It never is. Being quiet, only gave them permission to keep going.
When Kory Read’s mouth and Bullying ways didn’t stop their eviction, they instead went to the internet, to triangulate me with the the possibility of reaching millions…No, not just social media, but a registered domain in my own personal name, where the contents are filled with their projections, speculations, manipulations, gaslighting, and lies, while using “racism” as the plug to get readers.
The property didn’t have enough people for his plans, Social Media didn’t work like he had hoped, people were still coming to the building and renting apartments. A website that could possibly reach millions in the racial climate of the time, was his choice. Not only could Kory Read spew his many assumptions on this content, he wrote anonymously and towards the past couple of years, didn’t allow any way for people to contact him to say anything about it! He had anonymity and impunity!
In the social climate of 2019-2020 with all the racial activism, it was a bandwagon he jumped on, trying to get his opinions heard. Yes, you can see all he has is just his opinions….On these sites, Kory Read claims I am a “proven racist” that Kevin Lundy was definitely Biased, that the whole Social Justice Network of Ontario are racist and worked in cahoots with me to evict them, all because I was out to get them illegally evicted. They also claim they were “provoked and antongaized” into acting against me, and these sites are a result. So many insults….
Where is any of this “proven” for him to make these claims?
I see so many words of Kory Read on his sites where he claims “facts” but he shows no such thing. Where is all this evidence he claimed to have? I don’t think his personal assumptions will ever be accepted as any “facts”. Not even the released legal decisions state what he claims!
There are so many scenarios that could occur from a situation like this but I have come to see this is a unique one. When you are being smeared by strangers, on a website on the internet they deliberately made, titled in your own personal name they stole to use, it makes it easy to see it is a vindictive act. It’s obvious it fits the definition of a smear campaign, filled with so much negativity in hopes of turning people against me. They write so many words, trying to get you to believe them, it makes it obvious they are lying instead. You can’t force others to see what you do.
There is no reason for a Anonymous “Administrator” to post a domain like this in someone else’s name, with such vicious speculations on this person’s life, unless it is from a Narcissist intent on a Smear Campaign against that person.
The only way to deal with bullies is to stand up to them, and taking issue with the smear campaign is one of the more public and visible ways in which you need to hold a narcopath to account for their behaviour. It is imperative to reward each and every breach of decency, every lie, every smear etc with swift and significant consequences that hurt the narcopath. Until you do, it is very likely that the smear will continue unabated.
You have to stand up to Narcissist Bullies, Like Kory & Allison Read. I am determined to point out their outlandish allegations and point out their lies. I can accept that they are delusional and don’t see their speculations for what they are, that isn’t my problem. I don’t care that they have convinced themselves their lies are true and their speculations on my personal life, are facts. They don’t know me, know nothing of my history, except for the bits they learned of during HRTO process. You can see it in their many speculations, they are guessing…. I know that now and so does everyone else.
After almost 6 years of spewing their lies about me and others, finally, people are seeing it for what it is. It took me gaining the courage to do my own website, to show their lies and expose them. I had to speak up for myself.
Since my own site has been online, their Bullying of me has slacked off quite a bit. They lost their free speech hosts and instead decided to self-host on a parked domain that is pointed to the Internet Archive and the content they already had. Nothing will ever change with this situation anymore, and they have no options left to them to try and affect my life. It is what it is.
They can’t go back and make up more lies, after all this time. They can’t make up new scenarios either, not with anyone or any situation. Anything they do now after all this time and all the legal actions they already did and lost, only reinforces that they lied, about everything and everyone. They were already shown to be liars, but refuse to accept it. Not my problem.
It is clear that their nasty Smear Campaign websites are not working, as I still do what I want and live in total freedom from their antics these days. I am free.
Out of the list of things below, the most important thing about exposing their antics in my name, is to
- To allow bystanders to make informed and balanced judgements and decide for themselves who they wish to believe, and therefore support, based on fact and more comprehensive arguments.
- To lift the veil of secrecy that the narcs need in which to operate.
- To expose not just the narcopaths, but also their flying monkeys and enablers for the lies they are touting.
- To stop, or at least limit the extent of, the abuse.
- To fight for your life – literally
- To raise awareness and educate the general public about NPD in general so that they can be better forewarned of the danger that narcissists pose in all walks of life.
The veil of secrecy that Kory Read has hidden behind, as a anonymous administrator, is no more. No matter how many times he changes the registration of these domains, it has been well established that Kory & Allison Read are the owners and writers of it all. There is no reason for a anonymous individual to have such a personally titled domain, in someone else’s name, unless it is done deliberately for vindictive reasons. That has also been established, just look at their words and you can see the viciousness in them!
It has also been established, that they lie. Their original allegation, of a prior meeting where they say I was racist towards them, that is in their Statement of Facts submitted to HRTO, is a outright lie. They think that people will accept that they kept this alleged meeting to themselves for 2 1/2 months after I moved in to work there, yet get so up in arms over it, over a year later?
If this allegation was so terrible and affected them on such a level they felt the need to apply to Human Rights of Ontario, in June 2018, why didn’t they do it immediately upon returning home that day they say it happened? Or even after that first meeting in July 5, 2016 when they came to pay rent? Or even on August 1, 2016 when they got so upset over not accepting their cash for rental payment and recorded me on her phone? Why didn’t Kory Read mention it when he slapped the papers on my desk over propane BBQ’s?
Why was this alleged meeting, that they claim was so devastating for them to experience, yet they didn’t even mention it, to anyone, in that first 2 1/2 months? Why didn’t they bring it up when they refused access for pest control in August 2016? Do you see any mention of this alleged meeting in any of their first emails they sent me, denying access? It wasn’t mentioned, as they didn’t make it up yet.
This alleged prior meeting at some restaurant offsite, didn’t happen, that’s why it wasn’t mentioned when they saw me in the office July 5, 2015 when they came to pay rent.
It took getting a Form N5 in late August 2016 for refusing pest control that she said okay for entry, in text message, for them to write that 7 page letter filled with insults and false allegations, hoping to Bully me into shutting up. It worked on the owners, as they pressured me into letting it go.
Even that quiet year, from August 2016 till they gave that Work Order in August 2017, at no time did Kory & Allison Read file any complaints with any legal system over their allegations of this prior meeting they claim we had where they claim I was racist towards them. They did nothing, as there was nothing there. They didn’t even file their own complaint with Landlord and Tenant Board, as they said they were! It was only when they were faced with Hearing for an eviction, did these allegations come out in such detail and they filed their own complaint with the LTB, that they later dismissed on their own.
That is the pure definition of retribution! They got spiteful and wanted revenge!!
Yes, I am content these days with where this Smear Campaign is in my name. I no longer fear their words, and I no longer care what they write either, it won’t change anything. I am okay and my life is okay. They had their chance and all the legal systems made their decisions, not my problem they won’t accept them. Also not my problem they ignored Human Rights either, they went thru this for 19 months and in the end, they walked as they knew they had no case. They can claim I am a “proven racist” all they want, they didn’t prove it, didn’t even try. They ignored the hearing set after 19 months waiting for it. Making claims on a domain on the internet, don’t make what they say, true!
No one from my past, work or personal, even bothered with them! That says a lot about me and I take it as a positive thing! I know they posted that site hoping that all these tenants from my past would reach out to them and help them in their actions against me. Same reason why they went to my last place of employment, on Kingston Rd. They were looking for “dirt” they could expose and for others to help them fight me. Why else spread an anonymous story online for people to find, if they weren’t looking for help in attacking me? Only when they saw they were getting no support, did they remove all ability to contact them.
They will never get what they want, I will no longer cower away in fear of attack due to their nasty words. I stand tall and carry on. I live my life, one I built that is so far removed from those last few years I lived there. I have friends, family, and my hubby. My bills are paid and I live in a wonderful house in a quiet area, surrounded by single homes, no apartment buildings! I have wonderful neighbours and the wonders of nature outside my door. I have hobbies and interests these days that are so far removed from all this.
Above all, I have hope! I feel optimistic about my future and have high anticipation for what this life has left to offer me. I am positive and mindful, living day to day and in the present. I am spontaneous in action, and have no pressures to do anything. I have freedom, of thoughts and movements! I can go out and socialize and have fun and have absolutely no worries! Those sites will never cause any actions towards me. Adult Tenants who Bully, like Kory & Allison Read, do eventually get caught out for what they do. All it takes is time for people to see the lies they tell, especially when they gloat over legal actions that never come to pass.
What can you do about a narcissist’s smear campaign?
It’s high time we challenged the bulk of advice peddled on this….. Let’s face it, would you tell a rape victim to “just get over it”. Or the victim of fraud? Murder? Paedophilia? Of course you wouldn’t – so why do we think that the victims of narcissistic abuse should do the same?Conventional WisdomAll too many commentators on this point will propose the following clichés by way of conventional wisdom:
- Turn the other cheek.
- Don’t stoop to their level.
- Be the bigger person.
- Stand tall and carry on.
- Turn the page and move on with your life.
- Don’t sweat it – it’s a waste of energy.
- Forget about them and concentrate on your own happiness.
- You don’t need to do anything – karma will catch up with them in the end.
Says Who?
There are numerous reasons why should expose the smear campaign for precisely what it is:
- To preserve your own reputation
- To protect others for who you advocate (such as kids in common, other targets of the smear).
- To stop, or at least limit the extent of, the abuse.
- To fight for your life – literally
- To lift the veil of secrecy that the narcs need in which to operate.
- To forewarn future potential targets.
- To allow bystanders to make informed and balanced judgements and decide for themselves who they wish to believe, and therefore support, based on fact and more comprehensive arguments.
- To provide the sort of rallying cry that your supporters and other decent folk need to hear in order to provide yourself and other victims the protection and care required.
- To expose not just the narcopaths, but also their flying monkeys and enablers for the lies they are touting.
- To raise awareness and educate the general public about NPD in general so that they can be better forewarned of the danger that narcissists pose in all walks of life.
Manage by Consequence
Sadly there is no one-size-fits-all solution – so much will depend on a complex blend of criteria, not least:
- Your physical safety
- Your emotional robustness
- The extent of the lies, and who is spreading them
- The evidence you have to counter them
- The allies you can mobilize
- The channels you have to get your message out
Putting together campaigns to counter such lies are part of the work that I do with clients, and invariably take considerable planning. Be wise as to how you structure your campaign and enlist as much help and support as you can muster.