Integrity is important to me and always has been, in all my life. As even noted by the Adult Tenant Bullies, I follow the rules, as I believe they are there for my safety just as much as they were for tenants and property owners! Besides, rules are easy to remember and are consistent. Once you learn them, they stay, until it changes, then you learn the changes… Residential apartment buildings are busy enough, I didn’t have time to lie and remember them! Being honest in all things is a easier way to live!
It is all rules I follow, even when I don’t agree with them, as they are there for a reason, even if I don’t appreciate what that reason may be!
You wanna know what made me this way? PTSD. Since my diagnosis with PTSD in 1993, it has caused various things in my life and yes, OCD is part of it. I have to have things in certain ways or I get uncomfortable and can’t do it. When I go against my integrity, I get very uncomfortable within myself and feel very antsy and guilty. I have been told I can’t lie to save my life, as I give it away every time, so why bother? I tied it once and I became so flustered and even started stuttering and went red in the face, they knew I was lying.
Anyone who knows me, know I follow the rules, of everywhere, be Ministry of Labour with employment standards and health and safety, Ministry of Transportation for road safety and driving, Canada Revenue for taxes, etc… Every agency in Canada that lays out rules that affect anything I want to do or have in my life, I follow, for the simple fact of my own mental comfort due to this PTSD and it associated symptoms.
I will never give up living with integrity, my various mental health issues won’t allow me to do otherwise.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder makes you do things in order and in certain ways. It showed in my constant photocopying of documents in my job, as every notice, letter, or even phone conversations, were copied on paper, for me to keep in tenant file. I copied even the littlest hand written notes! I had Managers who would get upset with me over cost of ink and paper, as I used so much of it on site. You see, I had to have all interactions with tenants on paper, as I considered it my back up. It was there in case there was ever any dispute over what was said, by either party! I refused to have a tenant come back at me and claim I made promises or said something I did not. My favorite phrase to tenants requests? “I’ll see what I can do” and that’s it.
It is the same in my personal life. I made sure to dot every i and cross every t, so no one could come back at me for anything they claim I did, when I did not. I saved myself a lot of hassles living my life the way I have. I refuse to make promises I didn’t know I could keep but they knew when I said yes, I would stick to it. If I said I would be somewhere, I was there. I am never late, early mosts times, but never late if I could help it, even now.
If I screwed up, I admitted to it, as it saved time and then could be done right. I am human, I know I make mistakes, we all do, and I refuse to beat myself up for it, I learned from them and moved on. I look at quibbling as a waste of time, as that time could be better used doing it again, correctly this time from what you have learned. If I didn’t know something, I would ask and if they didn’t know, I would go looking for it.
We had a lawyer I could call upon if I had any questions or was unsure about something for rentals. I also was well known by the call center members of the Landlord and Tenant Board over the years, as I would call them to ask questions over their procedures. Same with Employment Standards, Health and Safety for employment, and City of Toronto Property Standards, even the Fire Dept over fire safety, until my hubby got his certification in it! Yes, my hubby is Certified in Fire Safety for buildings and has the authority to do fire safety checks on site and knows what to look for in deficiencies. We did CPR, and WHMIS every year.
What I didn’t know, I looked up and asked questions. Every employer I ever worked for will all say the same thing about my employment, I had a lot of initiative, I was a fast learner, and I always went above and did more than what was asked of me. If I knew how to do something, I did it, even including computer and printer repairs on site! I never called a IT specialist, as I was one and fixed any issues myself. I can even troubleshoot issues with camera systems… I know computer hardware and can repair most of them, tho I try to stay away from Apple products, I can still fix them…. It was a side hustle for me for a long time, doing computer repairs, till my hands started going on me. They not good for work like that anymore… lol
I am not ashamed of my mental health issues, I have come to terms with them a long time ago, and know I can live very comfortably with them, with maintenance. The little tricks I learned over time help me keep things in perspective, and I have my hubby there besides me to remind me when he sees me getting lost in my head. He is great at reminding me to stay in the present!
Learn about the things that you value the most, that you refuse to compromise on, and do what feels right for you and your life and to hell what anyone thinks of it! After all, it is your life to live and you need to be comfortable in all aspects!
- Learn how to be assertive, so that you can defend an ethical position from an adult point of view, without whining or being aggressive.
- Avoid white lies. They may seem harmless, but tiny lies are still lies. Always tell the truth.
- Learn to take responsibility for your actions. If you make a mistake, own up to it immediately and do whatever it takes to right the situation.
- Keep your word, and don’t make promises that you know you can’t keep.
- Keep in mind that in times of fear, disaster and chaos, the temptation is even greater to make a wrong choice. Use these opportunities to demonstrate your true character.
- Avoid seeming self-satisfied or priggish when you’re acting with integrity: stay humble and down-to-earth, don’t look for approval, and, where you sensibly can, try to let people save face.
Having integrity means that you live in accordance to your deepest values, you’re honest with everyone, and you always keep your word.
Integrity is a highly valued trait, especially in leaders. When you live with integrity, you’re more likely to be considered for important promotions and leadership positions.
To develop and protect your integrity, start by identifying your core values. These are the values that you refuse to compromise on, no matter what. Next, analyze every choice you make to ensure that you’re doing the right thing.
Then, develop a culture of integrity around you, work on building your self-confidence and self-esteem, and develop relationships with others who live with integrity.