Improving Self-Understanding Will Help in Mental Health Recovery

Triggers

Self-Understanding is very important to Mental Health recovery and learning to know yourself again after serious Trauma, is the only way you can recover. 

I have been working on this the past year, but I am glad I found these questions to help me even more! Doing these things, is hard, but what choice do I have? I want to recover my mental strength to the point where the actions of another towards me, like what Kory & Allison Read did with their domains like stellareddy.com, won’t get to me. I am working through my triggers, looking for a different ending. I will get there!

I want no emotional reactions at all to their words online, but I have a feeling anger will be a hard one to get past. It’s hard to ignore these things. Kory Read is too entitled and arrogant and it comes out in his writing, and yes, it bugs me, as it always did. It has been ingrained in my psyche and I am working to get it out.  He does what he wants with no regards towards anyone else and will place labels on people they don’t deserve, just because he feels entitled to do so. 

Kory Read loves to be blatant in his statements and fills them with labels and negativity to ensure that person is seen in a bad light. He lost that right when he walked away from his Human Rights Applications in January 2020, but thinks he has the authority to do it anyway.

He claims that the clients are racist, tho he never did prove it, and says I was USED, like I was a puppet to be controlled, to provoke and antongaize them with racist and anti-black behaviour, yet he don’t show any legal determinations proving any of his claims. Actually, it shows the opposite!

Kory Read didn’t like how his legal actions were going with Human Rights, so decided he was going to be the Judge, Jury, and Executioner instead and make his own legal determinations against me and others! This is what these domains show me. They claim to have rights, yet, where are mine? 

As I said before, if David Strashin was their lawyer and won for them in Divisional Court, he would be signing a very different tune! 

David Stephen Strashin is a Toronto lawyer who among questionable conduct behavior, will represent anyone for a dollar. He will stand buy quietly as his racist clients like Luigi Liscio and his son Anthony Liscio will use their property managers like Stella Reddy and her enabler husband Russell Reddy to provoke and antagonize a interracial married couple / tenants with their racist and anti-black behavior.

This sentence alone, is defamatory, slanderous, and outright lies! Its obvious it is meant to cause a reaction and create a stir. It is a bit redundant tho! Of course, he works for money! Everyone has a job so they can be paid, that money they can then use to live! How else would be be paid, if not with money? Don’t’ this man deserve to be paid for his work, like everyone else who works at a job?

Kory Read also implies here that a Lawyer is responsible to control the actions of his Adult clients, just like he implied the property owners were responsible to “check” my behaviour and just like he claims my husband didn’t “control” me. Once again saying that it was someone else’s job to “control” another, as it is what he tries to do, control people. He belongs in the Dark Ages!

Reviews only work when you can show you worked with this person, not just nik-picking on conduct issues. This man was a lawyer for 46 years, of course he will make mistakes! It is how he manages himself, in face of these mistakes, that count. Actually, I am impressed if these are the only issues of conduct, after 46 yrs!! These comments won’t stop anyone from working with this lawyer, actually the opposite! Everyone wants to hire someone who will do his best to win for them!

It is for things like this, that I am working on overcoming. My reactions, even though it is just anger these days, need to go. I am not responsible for anyone else in this smear campaign, so why should I care what this Narcissistic Bully says about them? I only need to be concerned over my own personal name, not anyone else’s, but it has been so entwined over the past few years, hard to lose. Especially when they are adding my picture there for a link that goes nowhere!

In trauma, your life is ripped out from under you and completely changed from one day to the next, and you tend to lose yourself in the process, this is about finding yourself again. Trauma changes you, no two ways about it. It has been well established in science, but it is how you get out through the other side and become once again a productive person in society, that you need to focus on.

Every person is different, but if you notice, I will try anything to see if I get any benefits from it! When it comes to helping myself, I will do whatever I need to do. I’m not afraid to try new things, and have no fear facing myself. If I want to get better, I can’t avoid the bad stuff….I will face anything, as long as it helps me overcome it and walk my way to a different ending. I am worth it!

I found this article a couple of days ago and have been slowly working on these questions. The section on work don’t apply to me, so I will ignore those, but I am half-way through part 2, which seems to be taking me longer…. I might share my responses one day…

Working through these questions will provide you with the opportunity to gain greater insights into yourself and enhance your self-knowledge. That’s important because being more clear about the self is linked to greater life satisfaction, happiness, better mood, and lower stress. As Aristotle said, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”

Going through these questions will make you think, so make sure you are awake when you read them… lol It is very eye opening, to think about the answers to these questions, and you might even surprise yourself! I know I did!

There are 6 parts, each with 6 questions for you to complete on your own. You’ll want to think deeply about each question, and write down your answers so you can look back on them. To do this well, each section should take around 15-20 minutes.

Not up to writing it out? That’s OK; just pondering these questions will encourage you to think about them throughout your day. In any case, I’d suggest doing one section a day to give yourself more time to reflect. (If you’re short on time, you could focus only on the starred items.)


https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-psychology-relationships/202206/36-questions-improve-your-self-understanding

These guided reflections spark insight that will help you better know yourself.

KEY POINTS

  • A predictable and stable self is ideal. You not only need to know who you are, but should be confident about that knowledge as well.
  • We can be too hard on ourselves, so it’s important to remember who you were before life got in the way.
  • A series of guided reflections based on research can help individuals enhance their self-knowledge and self-understanding.

My colleague Brent Mattingly and I both specialize in studying the self-concept (particularly in the context of relationships), and we wanted to develop a similar set of questions to facilitate self-discovery and enhance self-knowledge. The question was, could we help individuals enhance their self-knowledge and self-understanding through guided reflection? To create the questions, we consulted published theories, research, and established psychological measures.

There are 6 parts, each with 6 questions for you to complete on your own. You’ll want to think deeply about each question, and write down your answers so you can look back on them. To do this well, each section should take around 15-20 minutes.

Not up to writing it out? That’s OK; just pondering these questions will encourage you to think about them throughout your day. In any case, I’d suggest doing one section a day to give yourself more time to reflect. (If you’re short on time, you could focus only on the starred items.)

Part 1. Your Essentials: Who Are You Today?

This is a chance to get reacquainted with the real you. It’s a reality check to remind you who you are at your core. Answering them should be breeze, but note any areas that give you pause.

1. List 5 adjectives or traits that describe you.*

2. List 5 roles that you fulfill.

3. List 5 of your skills and abilities.

4. List 5 of your possessions that provide insight into who you are as a person.

5. List 5 life experiences that have helped define who you are.*

6. List 5 attributes that your closest friends and family would say describe you.

Part 2. Your Authenticity: What Do You Know About Yourself For Sure?

It’s one thing to know some facts about yourself, it’s another to feel confident and certain about those characteristics. Let’s look at how predictable and stable your sense of self is.

7. When you think about who you are, what aspects of your personality are most clear to you?*

8. In what ways does the “you” that you present to the world match who you really are?*

9. Think of three examples of when you stayed true to yourself despite societal or peer pressure. How can you continue to do this?

10. What are three of your most important personal values, and how can standing by these beliefs benefit you in the future?

11. What aspects of your personality stay the same regardless of the situation?

12. Look at the “your essentials” lists that you’ve created for questions 1 to 6 in Part I. Do any of these traits conflict with who you think you are? If they do, how can you be more consistent?

Part 3. Your Self-Esteem: How Well Do You Know What You Stand For?

Don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s easy to focus on what’s wrong and forget everything that’s right.

13. What are your three best qualities?

14. If you compare yourself to others you know, what are you especially good at?

15. In what ways is your life better than the lives of other people you know?*

16. List three things about yourself that make you proud.*

17. Describe three of your greatest accomplishments in life. What’s your next big goal?

18. What things do you struggle with? Do you know anyone else who shares these struggles?

Part 4. Remembering the Way You Were

Time to get reacquainted with yourself and remember who you used to be before life got in the way. There’s a lot of good that you may have left behind.

19. List three things you enjoy but don’t get much opportunity to do. What steps can you take to do these things more often?*

20. What parts of who you are as a person have fallen by the wayside? What can you do to help bring them back?*

21. In what ways have you put others’ needs ahead of your own? How can you restore the balance and start focusing on your own needs more?

22. How can you make time in your schedule this weekend for at least one hobby you haven’t had time for recently?

23. Think back to the type of person you wanted to be when you graduated from high school. What positive attributes did you have that you don’t think you have now? How can you rediscover these today?

24. Spend an afternoon looking through photo albums and reading old journals. In what ways could you benefit from becoming reacquainted with the person you were in the past?

Part 5. Your Work Life: How Can You Get the Most Out of Your Job?

We spend a lot of our waking adult life at work. Like it or not, that can shape who we are. But we don’t have to accept that passively. Instead, we can take control by seeing work as an opportunity to improve ourself.

25. In what ways does your job help you improve as a person? How can you ensure that this will continue in the future?*

26. What types of new and interesting things do you learn at your job? How have these experiences benefited you?*

27. What new responsibilities that you’ve taken on at work do you enjoy? In what ways have these made you more effective at your job?

28. How could you make the mundane and boring part of your work more interesting and fun?

29. In the past five years, what new skills have you acquired at work? How have these been beneficial?

30. Looking ahead at the next five years, what additional areas of expertise can you develop?

Part 6. Your Future: How Can You Become an Improved Version of You

Time to step out of your comfort zone. Push yourself. Try new things, and discover new facets of who you are. Who do you want to become?

31. What are three new and interesting activities you could try? Which of them could you start next week?

32. What are three topics you would like to learn about? Create an action plan for deepening your understanding of at least one.

33. Challenge yourself to improve in three ways this month. What steps can you take toward accomplishing each?

34. Which three places would you like to visit in the future? What could you learn from visiting each place?

35. In what ways have you improved as a person over the past five years? How has this helped shape who you are today?*

36. Think about ways in which you could grow as a person over the next five years. How will this help you reach your full potential?*

Working through these questions will provide you with the opportunity to gain greater insights into yourself and enhance your self-knowledge. That’s important because being more clear about the self is linked to greater life satisfaction, happiness, better mood, and lower stress. As Aristotle said, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”

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