Hope: That Magical Feeling That Keeps Stella Reddy Going!

Hope is the only thing stronger than fear

I have always lived my life in HOPE that I could learn how to live better, think better, and respond better, to the challenges I face every day. Anticipation for what this life can show me, is always my driving force. 

My hope for personal peace of mind from Adult Tenant Bullies, was always stronger than any fears I had. 

I want to live and experience all this life can give me, disabilities or not. I can’t give up and lose my spirit for life. It isn’t in my nature to just go with the flow and give in to challenges I face. I have mobility issues, but I work around them and finds ways to still do what I want. I want to walk the trails so I can see and appreciate all the wonders of nature and I will do what I have to do, so I can do that for as long as I can. I have a strong curiosity and love to learn new stuff and new ways of doing things. I will always find something to keep me engaged in living!

It was a beautiful weekend here! Hubby and I went exploring on Saturday, video and pics are up on Facebook and yesterday we did some work on the backyard. I found some Forget-Me-Not flowers growing in random places… They are such beautiful flowers and symbolize true love and respect and great to see.

Forget me nots

 I will always push myself, physically and mentally, to my limit and beyond, because I want to do things I want to do. As with anything, the WANT has to be there and I have that in spades!

You probably figured it out by now, after reading so many of my posts, that I have a lot of determination. Some call it stubbornness, but either way, I will never sit on the sidelines of life and go with the flow, I am out there, living, questioning, and experiencing all I can get out of it! I might do it with a cane, or even a wheelchair someday, but I will still be out there, experiencing all I can get out of my life.

I want to see the sun rise and set, see the Atlantic Ocean and shoreline change over time, watch the whales every year. I want to see my children smile and succeed in their own lives and watch all the generations grow up. I want to watch the flowers come up every year and see the trees sprout. Be able to sit and eat a good meal with great company and get to go on road trips and see every inch of this beautiful province I came from. That is my plan for my retirement, to explore every inch of this beautiful province and meet new people and see new places, to get out every experience I possibly can.

Over my lifetime, I have strived to always keep learning, to live better and be better than I was the day before. To experience all the special things living can show you, and to show my appreciation for being able to experience it. 

I have strived to face my medical health issues with courage and do what I need to do to get back on my feet and thrive, not just survive. It is who I am, who I have always been. I have physical issues, I go to a doctor, I have mental health issues, I go to a doctor. I learned to advocate for myself and my needs and am always willing to keep a open mind, as I am willing to try anything to see if it will work. Any possible way of enjoying life better, I will do, physically and mentally.

I learned a long time ago that no one else can live my life for me, I have to do it for myself. If I want to walk, I have to make myself do all I can to make myself walk. I have help, but in the end, it is still up to me to ensure my needs are met. I don’t expect others to read my mind and know what I need, as I know they can’t. I ask for what I need.

I have mentioned my namesake, my maternal Grandmother whom I am named after, before. I was very close to my Grandmother growing up and I would even spend some of my summer vacation, staying with her, helping her around the house. My grandmother was a wonderful woman, but she too had a lot of health issues in her lifetime, similar to mine, but during my older teen years, I watched my Grandmother give up on life. It was like her spirit just stopped fighting to live. I would watch my Grandmother daily, go from her bedroom to the kitchen, every day and her movements would get slower and I could see her struggle to walk. Over time, her daily naps would get longer and she would spend more time in bed. She spent her days sitting at her kitchen table watching TV, with everything she needed around her and she wouldn’t get up, unless she was going to the bathroom or for her nap. She never left her house, for as long as I can recall.

Family members would take turns checking up on her, even myself. I remember so many school lunch breaks, walking from school to my Grandmother’s to have lunch with her, to check up on her. and see how she was doing. It was the only free time I had, besides some on weekends, as I had to go home straight after school to be there with the younger kids…

When my grandmother fell down one morning coming from the bathroom and broke her hip, she ended up in the hospital and even though she had surgery to repair it, she refused to do anything to help her walk again. She gave up on living, spend her last 5 years in that hospital, going from the bed to the chair, watching TV. She had a lot of visitors, we have a big family, so she was never alone much, but I saw that my Grandmother had given up on Hope. It broke my heart to see that. She passed at 79 yrs old, way too young, from a stroke.

That stuck with me. There are times over the past few years that I would do something and a picture of my Grandmother doing the same thing, the same way, would flash in my mind, and it scares me. I love my grandmother, but I refuse to go the same way and spent the rest of my life isolated from living and not experiencing all life can offer. I have too much of an adventurer in me to do that.

I have too much Hope in me to ever give in and allow negativity to fester in my soul. I am too stubborn and I am very thankful for that stubbornness. I have too many wonderful things and people in my life to give up on.

Have a read of the article below about building hope into your life and see if it helps you like it does for me. If you have hope, you will never give up, as it keeps driving you forward, as it did for me.

Having hope that this smear campaign and cyberbullying will eventually be seen for what it is, has kept me going the past few years. I had a lot of hope that in time, especially with no changes and no more accusations from anyone else, it would expose Kory & Allison Read’s lies, and it has done so. Everyone knows that if I was a racist person as they claim, I would have more than one tenant making the claim against me and they would have actual prove of it too, especially after looking for evidence of it for almost 6 years! I had hope that in time, people would see the truth and it has come true.

The lack of support, and no evidence, of their many allegations that they have had over the years, shows there is nothing there to support their claims against me. I know it and my hope spring eternal that everyone else will know one day too.

I love the word, HOPE, and what it represents so much, I named our new cat we rescued last year, Hope. She is a daily reminder to have Hope that my life would change, for the better, and it has! I know that from now on, it will only keep getting better every day! I will always have hope, and it will always help me strive for more….

Hope is much more than wishful thinking. A powerful tool in the life toolbox, hope is built on strategies for strengthening well-being, resilience, and accomplishment.

Definition of hope

1 : to cherish a desire with anticipation : to want something to happen or be true (hopes for a promotion, hoping for the best, I hope so.)



  • Hope encompasses a set of skills that can help people perform well and build well-being and resilience.
  • Research links hope with positive relationships, productivity, and achievement.
  • Evidence suggests that hope is teachable and learnable.

Hope is much more than wishful thinking. A powerful tool in the life toolbox, hope is built on strategies for strengthening well-being, resilience, and accomplishment (Eaves et al., 2016; Berns-Zare, 2021).

Hope can empower you to create and sustain a more positive future in many areas of your life—at work, at school, and at home. It can strengthen your emotional health and happiness, augment your stress reduction skills, and amplify your ability to achieve goals.

Research indicates that hope can promote confidence, empowerment, and resilience. When we believe that our personal actions and abilities can expand and are not fixed, our performance and ability to respond to life’s challenges can improve (Yeager & Dweck, 2014; Snyder, 2000). Hope is also linked to greater emotional and physical well-being, positive relationships, productivity, goal setting, achievement, and performance in academics and athletics (Rand & Cheavens, 2009; Snyder, 2002).

Evidence suggests that hope is readily learnable and teachable (Rand & Cheavens, 2009). An organization called Hopeful Minds is bringing hope skills to the larger community to help people build their resilience during these challenging times. Kathryn Goetzke, the founder of the nonprofit International Foundation for Research and Education, iFred, and creator of Hopeful Minds, has been working with a panel of experts and examining research in the field. They have developed a user-friendly mnemonic called SHINE to help us engage the power of hope. These five steps for hope are part of an overall approach that Goetzke’s team outlines on their website.

These steps can help children and adults propel themselves toward resilience, handle day-to-day adversities, and develop skills for life. Using the acronym SHINE, here are the five keys to hope.

S:Stress Skills

You can strengthen your resilience by learning and practicing stress skills. Some of these skills include pausing and employing breathing techniques like lengthening the exhale or slow, focused breathing, listening to soothing music, laughing, exercising, or going outdoors and noticing the beauty of nature.

H: Happiness Habits

To bring greater hope into your life, you can cultivate habits that nourish positive emotions. A few practices that can promote happiness and well-being include: pausing to notice and savor good moments, practicing gratitude and thankfulness, being kind to yourself and others, engaging in activities you find meaningful, and discovering and using your strengths.

I: Inspired Actions

You can inspire your hope by setting meaningful goals that offer you encouragement and motivation for your life and your future. Experts recommend developing SMART goals that are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-framed. It’s helpful to break larger goals into smaller, step-by-step actions. Also, consider possible stumbling blocks and brainstorm ways to overcome them if they get in the way.

N: Nourishing Network

Having a support network of family, friends, coworkers, and support professionals can go a long way toward helping to bolster your hope and happiness. Knowing who you can turn to in good times and bad can contribute to a hopeful mindset. These connections may also include people beyond your personal network, where you can go during times of crisis. Your hope network should include people who value you and your strengths, see the positives in you, and want you to be successful.

E: Eliminate Challenges

When you feel challenged, or there’s an obstacle in the way, first identify it. Then, you can use your SHINE skills to help yourself overcome it.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only. No content is a substitute for consulting with a qualified mental health or health care professional.

©2022 Ilene Berns-Zare, LLC, All Rights Reserved


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