Healing is a Release From Fear

Share your truth

My ankle is all healed, so I have started walking on it. Using my cane now to get around my house and it is so much easier than the crutches! I still have to use them when I go out, at first till I rebuild strength there, but I am happy. First step closer to freedom!

My doctor was impressed Thursday over how fast it healed and at the mobility I had. The past few weeks, I was still doing exercises with it, as I could tolerate, as I didn’t want to be totally seized up when it healed. So I am farther ahead than I would have been. I am waiting on physio, but will continue what I can here at home. Since I got home, I have been putting more and more weight on it till I can use the cane today. That is progress!

I was always very determined to recover from medical issues as fast as I could. It stems from my strong sense of independence. The faster I could get back to looking after myself, the less I would have to rely on others to do things for me. One, day, I will write about where I got that but not today.

There will be a metamorphosis this Spring, not only for the weather but also in my life. I will be making some drastic changes this year and get out of my house, and out of myself. I plan on getting to know my neighbors more, be involved in my community, maybe volunteer, or even a part time job. I NEED to get of myself. As my ankle gets stronger and I can get out more, I will be doing so, even if it’s just puttering in the garden!

The words online in a domain in my name don’t bother me anymore, as I came to see they have no value and no longer matter. It is the ramblings of a narcissistic bully filled with so much hate, intent on revenge. There is no other reason for someone to post sites about someone else, anonymously at that! I accept that now and will no longer stress over it. They will do what they will do and I will just keep going, living my life as I see fit. Time for me to have some fun!

My birthday is in a couple of weeks, I’ll be 56 years old, still lots of time left yet. I have my Orthopedic assessment scheduled for the 18th too! It was quick, getting in to see a specialist about my legs, but I don’t mind. I know it will be awhile yet before they do any knee replacements! I need both knees done, and it will get done in time. I am in no rush to be laid up again! The ball is rolling now to get my health back on track as now all I am waiting on is the referral to a cancer specialist, and I expect that to be soon too. I need a checkup, it’s almost 4 yrs now. Yes, I have a lot of health issues that need to be maintained! How can I not with the damage I did to my body 31 yrs ago? A lot stems from that….

Lots of stuff to do this summer, lots of people to see and new friends to make. I have family coming to next month from across the Island for a visit for a bit, and our road trip the end of July for a couple of weeks. I even got a invite from someone I walked the lake with last year to meet up again this year. I joined a walking group, made up of women my age, who meet up at the Lake and walk the trail around it 2 times a week. I’ll get into that again this year.

I need to socialize with other people, not just online, after being held hostage by my mind for so long. I will rebuild my social life, no doubt about it. I will stand my ground, share my story and with each day, I become stronger and more resilient. I will immerse myself into doing things every day that bring me joy and comfort and that takes me into the future. I will leave the past where it belongs, in the past.




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