I don’t fear growing older, it is a part of life. As the poster says, getting older allows you to let go of expectations and be yourself without apologies. I love getting older and know I have no one to impress, no one to make demands on my time nor do I have to worry about “offending” anyone with my realness of just being me. I have no one to answer to for my behaviour other than myself. It is an amazing feeling!
I am lucky in that my hubby allows me to be myself and supports me in anything I do. He trusts me to take him into consideration, which I do.
What I do with my time, is totally up to me! If I want to sleep in and be lazy all day, I can do that. If I want to get up at 5 am and write on my personal blog all day I can do that too. If I want to spend the day roaming around this beautiful city I live in, there is no one there telling me I can’t! Other than a few appointments with Doctors here and there, my time is my own.
If someone comes up to me and brings up a website they saw online in my name, I am not obligated to respond to their curiosity either! I do not need to tolerate disrespect, nor am I obligated to do anything for anyone anymore.
I do things now because I want to, not because I feel obligated to do so.
There is power in that for me. Knowing that this time around, I can think of myself, and my needs, for a change.
It took a few months to process that in my mind, that I am no longer obligated to anyone or anything anymore. No more employers, co-workers, or Tenants to be mindful of! If I am having a bad day, I am not required to be polite if I don’t feel like it.
As time goes by, and I learn acceptance of each individual thing that occurred with the Bullying I went through, the more I am able to see other things, like the freedom that situation ended up giving me.
While I was working in property management in Ontario, when I left my apartment, every single time, I had to put on my “professional” face, even if I was off duty, as I would always get stopped by a Tenant with questions. It never failed, Tenants thought that they could stop you at all times if they see you out of your apartment and I had to be polite, even if I was off duty. Even on those days that I felt like crap!
I had to be mindful that my behaviour reflected on the owners, even when I was not obligated to answer as I was off duty. I don’t have that anymore! Retiring from working has given me freedom from obligations to anyone else.
The only obligations I have as I get older, are to keep to my personal beliefs of right and wrong, not employers, friends, or other family members. I don’t need to be mindful of “upsetting” someone if I decide to shave all my hair off or start wearing weird clothes. The opinions of others no longer have to be my concern and I have taken that belief to heart.
Take this personal Blog of mine… I’ve had it now for 2 years and there are some people I know who don’t understand why I feel the need to have it. In the beginning, their comments would bother me, but it didn’t last long. I stuck to my guns and kept it as I felt it was helping me. As long as I got some help from it and my Blog wasn’t hurting anyone, what did it matter?
I am sharing my personal Story, not theirs. This happened to me, not to them. Sure, I appreciate some might be emotionally affected by my words, but that is their issue, not mine. I have my own emotions to deal with!
I first started this Blog out of anger for the email I got on March 1, 2021, from the Adult Bullies I have but it has changed since then to reflect the healing I have done from the trauma their actions caused me. It reflects the education I have gained, which in turn, helped me gain new perspectives. As long as my mental health is benefitting from this Blog, I will keep it. It is changing, as I change, and that is okay.
This time around the sun is for me and my mental health!
