Detecting Narcissism

Your mental health needs to be able to detect Narcissism in others around you so you can protect yourself from their traits. If you’re not careful they can snag you into feeling sorry for them, which is what they want!

As this article from Psychology Today explains, one of the surest ways of telling if someone has high narcissistic traits is how they speak of past experiences they have had with other people.

I never had a romatic relationship with a narcissistic person but I have had to deal with them in my job as Tenants, co-workers, and employers. Looking back, I see these traits in others!

While most people have emotionally safe self-disclosures, you see none of that in the text on these websites. Every word is about what the other person did that they believe was so bad and comparing their actions with other people.

If a person is overly determined to “play the victim” it may be evidence that they have a victim mentality, which is the narcissist’s most used defence mechanism and shows they are not safe to be around. The content of the websites below show such traits!

So, pay attention to your new boo’s stories. A person who includes a detailed understanding of their emotions, how they delt with these uncomfortable feelings, and what they learned about themselves, may be fairly emotionally intelligent. Conversely, a person whose disclosures are absent of feelings and self-discovery, may be playing the victim. If the theme of “I have been wronged more than anyone else, and continue to be wronged,” persists, it may be evidence that they have a victim mentality. This is a narcissist’s most robust defense mechanism and may be data that the new romance is not safe.

The Toxic Tenants I had in the workplace are very good at blaming others for where they are in their lives, from Tribunal Officials, Lawyers, Landlords and Building Staff, Foreign Goverment Officials, School Officials, and Vet Owners. The following websites contain all their words of blame!

Some of these sites go nowhere these days, but the history of these websites coming and going online is well known and as long as they remain registered, their content could return, as they did many times before. I don’t trust them as they have given me no reason to do so. Some sites are gone already!

  1. https://connaughtpublicschool.com
  2. http://stcatharinesanimalhospital.com
  3. rooseveltskerrit.com
  4. stellareddy.com
  5. lorriereddy.com
  6. sjtomemberkevinlundy.com
  7. 859kennedyroad.com
  8. davidstrashin.com

When you read their website contents, they contain a wealth of allegations against others, have no insights of themselves and no accountability for their actions. They don’t even explain their actions during the situation they writing about, it is always about what someone else did.

These situations don’t occur just out of the blue, something had to precipitate them!

So, please pay attention when someone you meet talks, or writes, about their experiences and all they talk about is what someone else did and why they believe it is wrong and there is no accountability for their own actions. There is no sign of personal growth, no expressions of how the situation made them feel nor how it affected their lives, on any level. It is all about blame…

Pay attention when someone alleges the same allegations against numerous people, that of racism and discrimination, as that is also signs of a “victim mindset“. It isn’t the first time these individuals completed applications with Human Rights against someone and posted their actions online in their domains, looking for support.

Their last sentence says it all to me! Playing Judge, Jury, and Executioner is what they do! In the end, these people don’t have the authority to “making these individuals accountable” for what they perceive they did.

We will do whatever it takes to not only to expose and destroy their lies and racist behavior by making these individuals accountable. But to make sure they understand and they know it was our family that did it.

This is the 16th application they filed with the Human Rights Tribunal of Ontario using the same allegations. All were dismissed as abanonded and I don’t expect anything different from this one either as the HRTO can’t adjudicate “general allegations of unfairness” that these Applicants claim.


Detect Narcissism by the Way a New Partner Opens Up

The secret to discovering if a new partner has narcissistic tendencies.

Posted September 24, 2023 |  Reviewed by Jessica Schrader

KEY POINTS

  • Detecting whether a new partner is a narcissist before investing in the relationship is critical.
  • The manner in which a new partner opens up may shed light on their narcissistic tendencies.
  • Understand what defines emotionally healthy disclosures.

Deciphering whether a new partner is narcissistic before investing in the relationship is critical. A telltale sign of a new partner’s emotional safety may involve the manner in which they open up. Getting to know someone requires you to talk about past hardships, traumas, and heartaches. During the “getting close” process, you may be able to uncover important data about a new partner.

Typically, people open up in two ways. The first is healthy and a sign of emotional intelligence and the second may signify narcissism.

Emotionally safe self-disclosures

An emotionally intelligent partner shares specific and discreet feelings about their past experiences. They also demonstrate a clear understanding of what they were feeling and how they coped with these difficult emotions. Often they end the story with an acknowledgment about how the incident taught them something about themselves, or they identify the “silver lining” they eventually discovered.

For example, Taylor says to her new partner, “My divorce was really tough. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through. My ex got all of our friends and family to turn on me. I felt completely humiliated, alone, and abandoned. It made me question whether the divorce was worth it. But I knew I had to show my kids that a person should never stay in an abusive relationship. If there is one thing in life that I want them to know, it is that they do not have to accept emotional mistreatment. It was a rough go, and I cried in the shower every day, but we made it and we are happy and thriving.”

In this example, Taylor identifies the specific emotions that she experienced during the troubling time. She describes feeling alone, humiliated, and filled with self-doubt. She also explains how she worked through these feelings by keeping her kids in mind and crying when she needed to. This demonstrates Taylor’s ability to recognize and articulate distressing emotions, act constructively on them, and recover from adversity.

Emotionally unsafe disclosures

A new partner may have a strong narcissistic streak if their articulation of a past trauma is absent of specific and discreet feeling states. They may explain, in detail, how bad they had it, but they do not identify any nuanced emotions. Instead of talking about their internal landscape, they constantly direct blame at “the bad guy” from their past. In doing so, they position themselves as the “victim.”

As the listener, you certainly may infer that they were overwhelmed, disappointed, and hurt, but they usually do not express these emotions on their own. Also, they may identify a general emotion like mad or sad, but they rarely get into the nitty gritty of what they were feeling and the specifics of how they grappled with it.

Instead they lament about how bad they had it and how they are changed forever because of their hardships. They have a fundamental belief that they had it worse than anyone else, including you. You may agree that you had it easier and the guilt may compel you to “bend over backwards” for your new fling. Before you realize it, you are appeasing, placating, sacrificing, and enabling the new love.

Lastly, they do not derive a deeper meaning from their harrowing experience. A new personal insight or silver lining is absent from their narrative. They need to continually see themselves as a victim, even though they are usually the aggressor.

This victim stance protects them from any accountability in tough situations and places the blame on someone else. It is a narcissist’s main defense mechanism and excuses them from having to take responsibility for their actions and words. It’s a “free pass in life” to behave any way they wish and then cry foul and point the finger elsewhere.

Dating is scary and becoming ensnared with a narcissist can impact your mental health and deter you from finding safe and fulfilling love. So, pay attention to your new boo’s stories. A person who includes a detailed understanding of their emotions, how they dealt with these uncomfortable feelings, and what they learned about themselves, may be fairly emotionally intelligent. Conversely, a person whose disclosures are absent of feelings and self-discovery, may be playing the victim. If the theme of “I have been wronged more than anyone else, and continue to be wronged,” persists, it may be evidence that they have a victim mentality. This is a narcissist’s most robust defense mechanism and may be data that the new romance is not safe.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/peaceful-parenting/202309/detect-narcissism-by-the-way-a-new-partner-opens-up


Discover more from Stella Reddy's Story

Subscribe to get the latest posts to your email.