Good Morning!! It’s been a rough couple of days for me. Trying to process all the info I got on Monday when I went to the Orthopedic specialist about my legs. My Fibro has been flaring up as well and I hate the foggy brain I get with it! Not easy to think straight but I try…
The specialist told me I won’t be able to go on any walking trails this summer. I was told that my fall a couple of months ago when I broke my ankle, I stretched out the tendons and ligaments in my left thigh that will take time to heal. I have a cyst behind my left knee filled with fluid, and they gave me a cortisone shot, seeing if it will help, and I go back in July. If it don’t work, they will do knee replacement. I have to stay on even ground, preferably flat, even ground, which is kinda hard to find here. I even live on a hill! A little one, but still a hill! Even my backyard, isn’t totally flat!
I’ve been struggling with it. Thinking I am trapped, but I finally accepted I am not. I can always drive anywhere I want to go. I may not be able to walk the beach, but I can still go there, and I am sure I can find a arm to hold to get across the beach to sit by the water, at least. I can still go on my road trip, as long as I don’t overdo it and stay off the rough trails! Nothing will stop me from getting on a boat!
I will always find a way! I can walk, actually, the more I do, the stronger I feel. I am off today to buy a new pair of walking shoes, as I was told I need a thicker sole, and I need to get a lift of a inch high to put in my left shoe, so I need something stretchable. Apparently, when you stretch out your muscles, they tend to shrink when they go back in place, so my leg has gotten a bit shorter. I was told it will get better once my muscles heal and my gait gets better. I have noticed walking is hurting my back more, especially on my right side, and this was why, my leg shrunk!
I saw a really nice doctor, and the nurse was even someone I know! That was a funny thing. She called me in to see him and sat there and went thru my file, and as she was double masked it took a while to place her. But when she came back, I asked her name, as I told her she looked familiar, even with the masks on. It was hilarious, as she also thought I looked familiar too, but my first name threw her off, she don’t know me by that name. You see, I don’t use Stella here. I grew up in NL with a nickname and that is the name people know me by here. When I introduce myself, I do so with my nickname.
Yep, the tenant bullies know this nickname and even shared it in the site they have in my name, stellareddy.com, but that don’t matter either. I am not afraid anymore of what they say and do. I have become very confident once again and will never hide away anymore. I can always tell anyone who says anything bad to me to go away and I am not obligated to answer to them. I don’t need to respond to anyone I don’t want to talk too. If anyone opens their mouth to me wrong, I can turn around and walk away and no one can stop me. Why would they? I have no one I need to answer too anymore! I have very strong boundaries these days. Block anyone who has mean intentions, as I can do that! I control who has access to me!
Anyway, back to the doctor visit….I always hear the same from every doctor when it comes to my legs. That I had a lot of damage done to my legs in my fall 31 yrs ago and it is now coming back to haunt me. I have a lot of arthritis in my knee joint, with a lot of fluid, and it is making it tight and hard to bend and walk on. My kneecap is almost gone, which is why it sometimes slips out of joint and I have to push it back in myself. At least he didn’t give me any time frame of when I will end up in that wheelchair! 🙂 I have a doctor now and I know in time, I will get it all managed and I can get back to doing some things I want to do. Time is a great healer, not only of physical issues, but also mental!
I do usually follow doctor’s advice, but not completely, as I know my body and its abilities better than any doctor. If I followed doctors orders to the letter all the time, I would not be where I am today, as I would have given in long ago to my fate! I always push myself, look at my career! People with the mobility issues I had, don’t usually do the type of work I did, it was a lot of walking and a lot of cleaning at times! I learned different ways of doing things and always got the results I wanted, sometimes even better! It took me longer sometimes, but it didn’t matter, as I had the time.
I am a stubborn person, the past few years have even proven that, as I refused to give in to my Bullies and give them anything they wanted from me, no matter how hard it got on me emotionally. I may have gotten quiet from time to time, but only to gather my courage to fight once more for my personal rights and remind people I have them too! I refused to stay quiet for too long, as I refused to allow them to keep going with their online crap and not speak up for myself. I just could not do it. I don’t have it in me to just sit back and allow someone to abuse me and my name online the way they do. I never will which is why I am determined to keep my site online as long as stellareddy.com is registered for use. We will see what happens this time next year and if it gets renewed or not… lol I can wait.
I gained this courage long ago when I was 24 and a single parent with 2 young children and I found myself with nothing, not even mobility so I can live my life and raise my children. Those 2 1/2 yrs that it took me to get my independence back with all the physio and pain of learning to walk again, and be able to look after myself and my children, taught me about resilience and courage. I had to fight for everything I needed. I lost everything in the house fire, ended up with absolutely nothing, not even a home. I spent 3 months stuck in the hospital, most of it with no voice due to smoke damage and the ventilator with my children with my Mom living with my sister. It was hell, for all involved, and one of the most traumatic experiences of my life and it has had long lasting effects on my family. But, I am still here and that says a lot. I managed to get thru that and all the stuff in between with the cancer and stenosis, it showed me I can get thru anything, even being smeared so badly online in websites!
One of the worst things I did in all this smearing, was to keep responding to their daily missives’ during 19 months of HRTO, as I later came to see that the majority of their missives were not even being accepted as part of their applications. I wish I knew that at the time! Just about everything they sent in after the original paperwork, was not added as they requested, just the responses that were requested by HRTO. All the added accusations like Canada Post claims, were not going to be part of it. Even all the Form 10’s that they did towards the end, was not added! The final paperwork for their HRTO files ended up being pretty thin! I got it all in a request for Info I did last year, just to see what they were going to work from, and I was surprised to see that none of the more than 300 emails sent during that 19 months were not going to be part of their file and were not going to be allowed.
I learned a lot from this experience but I also know that this knowledge I won’t need to use in my future. This won’t happen to me, never again, as I will never be in the position for it to happen again. I have no one in my life these days that has any right to question me over anything I do, online or off. That is the definition of Free Speech!
I noticed something the past few months. When a person is smeared like I have been, online in a personally titled domain in my name, you either turn into a mouse, change your name, and hide away never to be seen or heard from ever again and there is the ones who fight back, get in your face and expose their lies for what they are. It may not always be the best solution, but when it comes to peace of mind of the target, it is the best solution for me to do. I have nothing to be afraid of anymore, especially from Kory Read. He is no one and has no power to influence anything or anyone in my personal life.
I have proven that by being here every day, living in peace with no drama created by them! I close down this site and it is gone from my mind and I go on with my day and I have no concerns. I don’t spend much time on this anymore, I have other things to do. Since I stopped monitoring those sites myself, I save a lot of time where I can do other things, like going shopping! 🙂 I spend my day yesterday on the phone, talking to family on the mainland. I have family everywhere across Canada so I had a fun day catching up. Time differences play a part at times, but we manage.
I will always refuse to sit back and allow tenants to bully me online. I will always refuse to allow anyone to dictate to me how I should live, whether it be tenants or even doctors. No authority figures in my life who think they can tell me what to do, as I made it that way on purpose. I decide what is best for me, right or wrong, and I will always be a adult and accept responsibility for what I do. I decide what happens in my life and who I have in it. These days, I have my life the way I want it to be! I am content and getting more so every day.
This continued smear campaign being done against me in stellareddy.com by Adult Tenant bullies will never take me out, as I refuse to allow it to do so. It’s amazing how much control you can gain over your own mind and your life, when you put your mind to it. My stubbornness kicks in and I bulk at authority, I always did. I will always follow the rules of living and try my best to be respectful of others, but if you kick me, I will kick back. It’s the way I was made and it is how I manage to still be here after all my life’s experiences and struggles.
If a house fire and lack of mobility couldn’t take me out and all the doctors dire warnings of what was to come for me later in life, didn’t stop me from living, I am sure a couple of tenant bullies won’t stop me either! They are only 2 people out of billions in the world and they really have no power over anyone,not even themselves most of the time! They are a joke and their narratives have become something to laugh at, just like them and their overblown egos!
I am off to go shopping! More retail therapy today! Isn’t it just great when you can do that and not worry about it? My life is really starting to come back together now that I am no longer worried about these sites and what tenant bullies do with them! I now know their time is passed and it is over!
Never give up! I know I won’t. I can’t, it isn’t in me to do!