Acceptance of What Is!

No More Quiet

One of the last things I have to do for myself and my own mental health, is acceptance. 

Acceptance means fully acknowledging the facts of a situation and not fixating on how it shouldn’t be that way. This mindset moves us away from often harsh judgement of ourselves and allows us to break away from thoughts of unfairness.

Acceptance for me is fully acknowledging I have no control over stellareddy.com and the other domains, being online. I had to let go of the fact that those sites SHOULD not exist, and accept that they DO.

I was fixated on getting those domains removed and getting stellareddy.com registered to me, fixated on my shock and surprise that after almost 6 years, Kory & Allison Read are still going with trying to smear me, when the evidence clearly shows they have lost. The evidence shows they lied. Time to let go of the frustration of it all, and embrace what I can do! I do have options!

Even in my last post, I write about the shock I felt over getting that 7 page letter in Aug 2016 and the confusion it caused within me, as I just could not understand where their allegations were coming from. I still can’t, but I am not concerned anymore. It is time to stop trying to understand them, and focus on me. 

In order for me to move forward, I have had to let go of all that thinking and focus on breaking away from thoughts of unfairness. Yes, it is very unfair for prior Tenants, Kory & Allison Read, to make and post these domains and their nasty content, about everyone who took part in their eviction in October 2017.  They did what they could, availed of various legal services hoping someone would accept that they had the RIGHT to deny access, but in the end, they were shown there is never a good reason to deny the Landlord’s rights. I have no need to concern myself with WHY Kory & Allison Read are doing this, just accept they are, and accept that no matter what, nothing will change. They don’t have any power, not even with their words anymore!

I remember the day I watched a City of Toronto Property Standards inspector enter the property and buzz someone from the entry panel, and I knew without a doubt, she was going to 303. Sure enough, she did. The next day, I got a call from her and while I was on the phone, she sent me a email with the list of deficiencies in this unit. I couldn’t help but laugh when she told me what they had said. Kory & Allison Read had the nerve to tell this Inspector that the owners refused to do any work in this apartment, that they didn’t even try. While still on the phone with her, I sent back to her all the copies of Notices of Entry proving that we did try, but the tenants refused access. I even sent her the emails from these tenants, clearly stating they were denying entry and sent her the ones for Pest Control and the Glass company, explaining it was their mixup, not mine, when an appt had to be changed. That was all the City Inspector needed actually, was evidence that we tried. After all this, I didn’t try anymore to get the repairs done, there was no rush. The City left everyone alone, as they put it on hold for the repairs to be one once they had been evicted, or moved out on their own.

I remember the feeling of validation I had that day upon speaking to the City Inspector, as they understand there is no requirement for me to put myself in the position of being Abused by a Tenant, like Kory & Allison Read were doing. The City did not expect me to force myself to deal with them and try to get entry to get the repairs done, knowing I would be subjected to abuse by them for doing so. By the time I hung up the phone, I felt acknowledged for the first time for my experience with these tenants, as I know she understood.

These feelings of validation are great, but I don’t need them anymore. I give myself all the validation I need these days!

Learning to accept that you have no control over a situation you were forced into, is very freeing. I was forced into this by their lies and constant allegations against me, and by my own PTSD I had from before. I am now forcing  myself out of it!! I have OPTIONS!

We all know PTSD don’t go away, you just learn to manage the symptoms, but more Trauma will trigger it all to come back. That is what happened to me and I accept that and have learned from it. This experience of being Bullied by these tenants, with their online domains, was a terrible, life changing thing to go through, but one I will never have to be subjected too ever again .. I have reached the place in my life now where I have built up my little universe of peace and happiness and I can be very picky over who I allow in my life. I have options these days, I am no longer stuck living in a toxic environment and I can choose what I will accept, or not.

Accepting that Kory & Allison Read are Narcissistic intent on a elaborate smear campaign, is also freeing. It is over! I have no need to care what they think about me, as there is nothing they can do to me anymore. The outcome will never change. That is all that counts, not their excuses. They tried to have me ostracized from society and my community I live in, there and here, and it didn’t work, it never will, as I don’t need to let it! That’s the point, isn’t it? I have options!

Their opinions on me and my life, on anyone’s lives, will never count, as they don’t count. Kory & Allison Read will always be seen as revengeful tenants, mad over being evicted. They try to get you to accept that he can read my mind and know my motives, but that isn’t possible. Kory Read can speculate all he wants about me, no one will ever accept his version of events, as he is NOT ME!

Reading up on Narcissism has helped me come to accept that no matter what anyone else determines, not even the legal system, Kory & Allison Read will never accept it. They feel slighted and nothing or no one, will ever make a difference to them. They felt Narcissistic Injury, as they were denied control over entry, and it is so obvious in all their writings. They can try to cover it up by claiming they had a right to deny entry, either because the contractor didn’t come when they wanted, or I didn’t give proper notice, either way, it is still an excuse.

  • As noted below, I didn’t agree with Kory & Allison Read, I contradicted him over rental cash payments and propane BBQ’s, even got at them for sitting on the laundry machines and kicking the doors;
  • I was happy over them getting evicted and I didn’t have to deal with their abuse anymore;
  • I didn’t treat them as special and important;
  • I challenged Kory & Allison Read and corrected their delusions they had about me
  • I spoke up for myself
Narcissistic injury is widely misunderstood. Many people believe it relates to the trauma experienced by the victims of narcissists. But instead, it is what is experienced by the narcissist when they lose or are abandoned or criticized. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM):

“Vulnerability in self-esteem makes individuals with narcissistic personality disorder very sensitive to ‘injury’ from criticism or defeat. Although they may not show it outwardly, criticism may haunt these individuals and leave them feeling humiliated, degraded, hollow, and empty. They may react with disdain, rage, or defiant counterattack.”

They hold grudges and want to get back at the person they perceived harmed them; they seek revenge, try to cause problems for their attacker, and seem never to forgive or forget.

Kory & Allison Read lost, they were evicted for denying entry to the apartment when they had no right to do so, no matter what excuses they came up with. That was more than enough for them to have Narcissistic Injury, as described here!

They were criticized as a result for their actions and it just added to their rage…. 859kennedyroad.com showing up on November 2, 2017, just 2 weeks after they received the decision that they were evicted and had till Oct 31, 2017 to vacate, was their response to their Narcissistic Injury!

Kory Read reacted with disdain, rage, and defiant counterattack, to being evicted!! 

It has been almost 6 years, and all legal actions are long done, yet, these domains remain. Kory Read deliberately made those domains, and their content, to cause problems for the people named within. So yes, Kory Read can hold a grudge and is looking for revenge. His own words on stellareddy.com, give it away!

most of us get over it with a little time and processing of our feelings: We move on. But the narcissist does not. Narcissists are not enough in touch with their own feelings to move on. The issues remain in their mind as “it’s all your fault,” or “How could you do this to me?” They want to strike back and seek revenge.

 They do not have a solid, developed sense of self so we see them swing from depression to grandiosity with little in-between. Their presentation deceives most people until they get to know the narcissist. When the narcissists’ façade of charm and deception gets cracked, their whole world bursts apart. They will then blame others for their feelings of inadequacy, lack of happiness or success, and lack of love.

But if you take a different highway from them, you will then see their disdain and serious “get back at you” tactics.

Deep down, their motivation is to exploit you for their personal or professional gains. They are envious of others, fiercely competitive, and always must come out on top no matter the issue.

The key to recovering from this abusive behavior is our own internal work, realizing it is not us and not our fault. We must separate ourselves from abusive behavior and focus on our own wellbeing.

It is also important not to carry their shame, which they will try to dump on you.

Normal people can agree to disagree, as noted in this article, but Narcissist does not.

  • There was never any way that Kory & Allison Read would ever accept that they did not have the right to refuse entry and they will always blame me and others for their eviction.
  • They will never accept that they did not have the right to demand that I give them dates a contractor could come to do repairs, and they could pick from these dates.
  • They will never accept that they could tell me that the smoke detectors didn’t need to be checked again, as they were done 4 months before, by staff, not the Fire Safety Company.
  • They will never accept the legal determinations made by the LTB or Divisional Court, not even HRTO, especially if it wasn’t what they wanted!

Kory & Allison Read will always find someone else to blame for any hardships they may experience, it will never be their fault!

Kory Read was even implying that they were having a hard time finding a place to live on me, claiming I was emailing properties telling them not to rent to them!

I must have been some powerful woman, to have so much control and influence over other people, to get them to work in “cahoots” with me against these tenants! When I see words like that now, I can’t help but laugh….

All the actions of Kory & Allison Read have proven to me that their motivation for these domains, is for personal gain.

They want to be seen as Altruistic, as if they are doing the world a favor by telling them all about me and my motivation to evict them, illegally, based all on their own speculations and suspicions, not any evidence they can show.

They are envious of so many people, and fiercely competitive, and they must win, at any costs! They hate that I got away from what they feel I should have gotten, so they decided to be Judge, Jury, and Executioner themselves and make their own determinations against me and others they want revenge against. They didn’t like the legal decisions, so refused to accept and acknowledge them and made their own, in the contents of their domains!

Just the words of comparison, of how they are more productive in society than I, or my children, will ever be, shows their competitive nature and envy. Kory Read clearly told me to address his children as “doctor” and how more productive in society they will be, because they will become doctors.

At the bottom of his posts on stellareddy.com, Kory Read always has to comment about how he believes I am jealous of them. I would really like to know how he came to that conclusion!

The reality is that I had no reason to be. I was happy living the life of a couple with just my hubby, no children to be responsible for anymore, and slowing down. I was at a juncture of my life where my children were adults and out on their own, for many years by that point, and were settled in their own lives. I was comfortable, financially, and knew I would always be.  They still have a long way to go before they get to enjoy retirement and being able to relax, and see their children settled in their own lives. I was already past all that and felt no need to do it all over again!

I know that Kory Read will always be dependent on others to support him, in every way, especially financially. He might get lucky from time to time and make a income, it won’t last, as history has shown. Kory Read has started, and stopped, quit a few money making things over the years, from web design, being a music DJ to after school programs with kids, it won’t last long as all these things, deal with people. Kory Read don’t deal too well with other people and it will always interfere!

They have 2 kids, still in school, and looking forward to high debts to put them through more school. Kory Read couldn’t hold a job, so it was left to Allison Read, by his own admission, to pay the bills while he stayed home, looking after the house and the teenagers. It will be up to Allison Read to put the kids through school too! Why would I be jealous of all that pressure and stress Allison Read has to endure, to be able to provide all that, all on her own? From my experience, Allison Read needs to work on her interpersonal skills, as she can’t go on the attack every time someone don’t give her what she wants! I didn’t accept her cash rental payment, so she had to take out her cell phone and record me, claiming I was refusing to accept her rent, not just refusing to accept it in cash. I had no problem taking her rental payment, just not is cash, especially after I told her 3 times already it wouldn’t be accepted, and why.

I have no control, Kory & Allison Read will do what they will do. The truth could be staring at them in the face, and they won’t accept it and time for me to see that.

No more fixtations over things I can’t change. stellareddy.com, and the others, will be online for as long as Kory & Allison Read decides to keep them there. It is their domains, and their content, not my issue anymore. It is just their personal opinions and as I no longer need to accept them, I no longer need to concern myself with them. They can go on their merry way and do what they will do!

It is for articles like the ones below I share, that I read and work through in my head, that helps me come to terms with this situation. I know now I will always be okay, as I choose to be. Nothing Kory & Allison Read can do now that will ever disturb the peace I have attained now.


What are the main causes of narcissistic injuries?

Narcissists, with their delicate and fragile egos, are at risk of narcissistic injuries at even the slightest of perceived sleights.

If you don’t fully agree with the narcissist, you cause an injury.

If you say something that in any way contradicts the narcissist, you cause an injury.

If you feel happy or proud about any achievement of yours, you cause an injury.

If you in any way insinuate they are not grand and special, if you do not support their grand delusions of themselves, you cause an injury.

Narcissists receive an injury, anytime something happens which suggests the may not be as grand, special, superior, as they must believe.

Narcissists do not like being corrected, narcissists do not like feeling as if they are not the walking truth, narcissists do not like being treated as if they are merely human, mere mortals.

They see themselves as an evolved version of you and others, you better not challenge them.

Or else…

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/the-legacy-distorted-love/202010/understanding-narcissistic-injury

Narcissists do not forgive or forget.

Narcissistic injury is widely misunderstood. Many people believe it relates to the trauma experienced by the victims of narcissists. But instead, it is what is experienced by the narcissist when they lose or are abandoned or criticized. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM):

“Vulnerability in self-esteem makes individuals with narcissistic personality disorder very sensitive to ‘injury’ from criticism or defeat. Although they may not show it outwardly, criticism may haunt these individuals and leave them feeling humiliated, degraded, hollow, and empty. They may react with disdain, rage, or defiant counterattack.”

The narcissistic individuals I have known who have had this kind of injury reaction take a long time to get over it. They hold grudges and want to get back at the person they perceived harmed them; they seek revenge, try to cause problems for their attacker, and seem never to forgive or forget.

We have all felt abandoned or rejected at times, and most of us get over it with a little time and processing of our feelings: We move on. But the narcissist does not. Narcissists are not enough in touch with their own feelings to move on. The issues remain in their mind as “it’s all your fault,” or “How could you do this to me?” They want to strike back and seek revenge. While they may act arrogant and haughty and put on a show that nothing bothers them, this façade makes it difficult for others to see their inward self-loathing. They do not have a solid, developed sense of self so we see them swing from depression to grandiosity with little in-between. Their presentation deceives most people until they get to know the narcissist. When the narcissists’ façade of charm and deception gets cracked, their whole world bursts apart. They will then blame others for their feelings of inadequacy, lack of happiness or success, and lack of love.

As long as you are in agreement with the narcissist, revolve around them, do things their way, and have great adoration for them, you will be fine. But if you take a different highway from them, you will then see their disdain and serious “get back at you” tactics. We see this in politics, in narcissistic parenting, and in high-conflict divorces when someone is divorcing a narcissist. You may also see it at work or with a friend you have discovered is a narcissist. The charm you thought was real suddenly turns into a vicious battle of abusive behavior. While you thought they cared for you, loved you, or admired you, you find out they were not capable of that and that it was all a charade to get what they wanted. Deep down, their motivation is to exploit you for their personal or professional gains. They are envious of others, fiercely competitive, and always must come out on top no matter the issue. This is traumatic to realize, especially if you were close to the person in a work, family, or love relationship.

In healthy situations, we can disagree with someone, but we talk it out. We sometimes agree to disagree, but we don’t hold grudges for the rest of our lives. True narcissists cannot do this. They strike back hard and then usually wipe you off their slate, but they never forget. It will always be your fault because they are never accountable. People involved with narcissists often have a hard time understanding this because it is not normal behavior; in fact, it’s abusive. The key to recovering from this abusive behavior is our own internal work, realizing it is not us and not our fault. We must separate ourselves from abusive behavior and focus on our own wellbeing. It is also important not to carry their shame, which they will try to dump on you. Many clients I have worked with feel shame that they even got involved with such people, but I want to clearly say that anyone can be duped by a narcissist. They are very good at presenting a façade of charm and grandiosity. The narcissists’ goal is to deceive and manipulate for their own ends, and often they are quite successful in this endeavor.

If you have been duped by a narcissist, know that there is hope and recovery. I remain a strong advocate for narcissistic abuse recovery and I know it is worth it. You may be wondering how to recover, and what else you need to understand to take good care of yourself and your family. These additional resources could help.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: