RePost: I Am Healing Anyway!

I wrote this post last year on May 16, 2023, and wanted to repost it today.

No matter the cyberbullying, you can still heal and move on. I don’t need anything from adult bullies to move on with my life and forgive myself for my emotional reactions to what they do, and did, in my name. Their admission of guilt for their behaviour is not needed, nor do I require an apology from them. I have found it within myself.

I have found a deeper meaning to life and it has nothing to do with being Bullied by Tenants!

Every Trauma is different and this one was very different from the last, but anxiety is the same, fear of leaving my home. The first one was I was afraid of having another house fire, this time I was afraid of being accosted and physically attacked. Either way, I learned to face my fears and even though they are still there, they no longer stop me.

I have chosen to live a quiet life, finding peace in Mother Nature I am surrounded by here in NL. I have a few close friends and do social things, but I like my quiet time and have become very comfortable. I have online groups I follow and get involved with and I get into webinars and read posts on WordPress written by others. I read, a lot, on various subjects, even silly romance novels! I also write a lot, on this Blog and other places, when I am able. It takes me hours to type a post due to my hands, but it gets done.

I am greatly enjoying my life these days! I get to go to wonderful shows and concerts, and experience so many Artistic Markets. I live in gratitude, always, for what I do have, not what I don’t. I appreciate all I can still do for myself and my family, and I no longer feel bad for what I can’t.

I am disabled and the issues I have will slowly get worse and I have accepted that, but until that day comes, I plan to get as much enjoyment out of living as I can!

Moving on from these types of situations takes time but I have made this situation now into a distant memory, replaced by new experiences I have had since. Time for change!

I do experience the common side effects as noted in this poster and for me, it is a glorious feeling of freedom! I feel more at home with myself and my situation and as a result, I feel empowered from that to keep going.

The words in this poster are powerful in that “the damage no longer controls our lives“. That is what healing means to me, it no longer controls how I live my life.

I still have feelings, but I do things anyway!

I no longer allow personally titled websites in my name filled with their nitpicking and gaslighting of my every word and action, from my last place of employment, to stop me from living. They made false allegations and I refuse to live my life in fear of that anymore. I don’t deserve that, no one does.

I no longer live in fear of personal attacks from members of my Community because of their lies and inciting words against me on their websites. Their words have lost their power over my emotions and over what I choose to do.

Smear Campaigns and Cyberbullying in personally titled websites created by Toxic Tenants were their attempts to control me and what I did and it did work for some time, especially while I was still living in Ontario. I became so afraid to move for fear of physical and verbal attacks from them and others, that I became frozen in that fear. It was a terrible way to live and I refuse to live that way anymore.

Life is about living, not hiding away and avoiding everyone and everything out of fear!

I didn’t trust these Tenants as I watched them outright lie and push this lie to the public, as it is a very inciting lie, that of racism. For each loss they had in the judicial systems, more websites would show up filled with their malicious personal speculations over every aspect of what occurred and more people were being accused. Almost 7 years later and they are still going with the same false allegations against me, and also against others!

As noted in part of the article I share below, racism is at times being used as a weapon to manipulate others and I truly believe these Tenants did that in this situation, I always did. I read their “statement of facts” way too many times and all I see are their opinions and personal speculations over what I said and did. I see no evidence proving their claims.

They come up with the most outrageous claims, trying to show a familiarity with me and my thinking processes, that you know they don’t have. The Applicant and her husband can “suspect” and “have no doubt” over all kinds of things, but it doesn’t make it the truth. They are guessing, hoping people will accept their speculations.

Combating the feelings these words brought out in me, the shame and humiliation, was difficult, but with mindfulness, therapy, and the support of others, I did exactly that!

Just the fact they admit to walking in with their cell phone to record the interaction of me not accepting their cash payment, you know that these Tenants had an issue and were upset, no matter what they say.

Just the fact they walked into the office with their cell phone to record their interaction with me was an aggressive act, especially after I had already explained numerous times why I wouldn’t accept the cash rental payment, but they didn’t care.

It’s okay, as after all this time, with all the released decisions made against them and their allegations, it is common knowledge now that they lied and made false allegations of racism out of revenge for their eviction. All you need to know is that I tried to get the repairs done, and was refused entry, in writing, explaining that the timing was “inconvenient” for them.

Once I was told by so many that their websites are all about being a Bully towards me and others, I started rebuilding my self-confidence in knowing that everyone else would see them that way too in time. Time has a way of showing the truth of things…

In this section of their “statement of facts,” you can see them use their lie of a prior meeting, my refusal to accept their cash rental payment, (after sending out letters stating why I would not take it to all tenants), and claim my letter to them over their aggression and recording me on their cell phone when I asked them not to do so, to imply my “inappropriate” behaviour.

They don’t see that I could prove they lied about that prior meeting, that I sent a letter to ALL tenants that cash rental payments would no longer be accepted for my safety, and that these tenants still tried to pressure me into accepting it, not once, but twice!

I had boundaries in place in the workplace; these tenants ignored them and then tried to claim I was being “inappropriate”.

Of course, I wrote the letter that cast them in an unfavourable light, as they acted unfavourably! Did they not yell and scream at me that day? That is why I have never seen the video they took that day, they have never shown it, as they know people would see their aggressive behaviour towards me!

As this article states, false allegations of racism can have “emotional, physiological, psychological, social, and economic consequences. People may not simply be able to “move on,” and such a stigma can follow a person for the rest of their lives.

I am sure that is what the Toxic Tenants, KR & AR, want of their allegations and their many domains on the internet, that the stigma follows me and my family members throughout our life. It is the purpose of a Smear Campaign after all!

It is still there in my mind, but I have learned how to move past it and live my life anyway!

They deliberately go out of their way to ensure their domains, with their malicious content, remain online, as they hope their words will have a negative effect on my personal life. They want me shunned from my Community here just as they did in Ontario but they have no influence anymore. They tried and lost, there and here!

Getting past all that, living my life anyway, has been hard but the more time that passes, the easier it becomes. I am healing.

There is no doubt that racism is a multifaceted phenomenon that encompasses numerous barriers that prevent people from experiencing dignity and equality because of their race or origin, and that it extends beyond thoughts, words, attitudes, and behaviours. It is extremely important to emphasize that racism should not be taken lightly, but it also shouldn’t be used as a weapon to manipulate individuals, groups, or situations.

The dangers of false allegations of racism may be summarized thus:

  • False accusations of racism are hurtful, disrespectful, and an affront to a person’s integrity and character. There are negative consequences for those accused and their family members, including emotional, physiological, psychological, social, and economic consequences. People may not simply be able to “move on,” and such a stigma can follow a person for the rest of their lives.
  • Unverified and false accusations of racism can be just as divisive in a country emerging from a history of racism as actual examples of racism. Such accusations may be detrimental to any projects aimed at fostering better race relations, re-establishing racial harmony, or progressing toward a future marked by racial equality.
  • When false accusations of racism are made, it negatively impacts those who really are victims of racism, as employers, office-holders, and the public at large may come to take their genuine accusations less seriously.

Racism is generally not tolerated in western societies. A genuine case of racist discrimination may result in civil, criminal, and financial penalties. Individuals should be free to report racist incidents without fear of reprisal. However, accusations must be made responsibly, as unfounded charges of racism can have a detrimental effect on individuals, communities, and society as a whole. Perhaps those who make false accusations should face repercussions as serious as those faced by genuine perpetrators of racist acts.

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