Evolving Mindsets: A Personal Journey of Overcoming Judgments Made By Others

I have learned that judgments made by others can be incredibly impactful and sometimes difficult to overcome. Don’t let people scare you, you are safe to be you. Throughout my life, I have faced countless judgments from family members, friends, and even strangers. These judgments have shaped my perspective on the world and have influenced the way I see myself at times. However, as I have grown and matured, I have come to realize that these judgments do not define me. Instead, it is my own mindset and self-belief that truly matters in my personal growth and happiness. Whose life is it to live anyway, mine or someone else’s?

Growing up, I sometimes felt the weight of others’ expectations and judgments. Whether it was the way I dressed, the activities I participated in, or the goals I had for myself, people always had something to say. I was a tomboy and not much into girly stuff. At first, I allowed these judgments to shape my identity and determine what I should strive for but over time, I learned to ignore them as I was happy doing my own thing. I once believed that to be accepted and loved, I had to conform to the expectations set by others but learned young that it wasn’t true.

This is why when toxic tenants started their smear campaign in 2017 in the last apartment building I worked in, I was flabbergasted I allowed it to get to me. They were tenants, not friends, and had no insight into my personal life, other than what they gained during the Human Rights process they started, which wasn’t much. When they stalked me online on social media, stealing personal pictures I had there and accessing other family members’ social pages as well, I realized I needed to embark on a personal journey of self-discovery and redefine my mindset.

The first step in overcoming the judgments made by these toxic tenants was to accept that not everyone would understand or support the choices I had to make. People have their own biases and expectations, and it’s not fair to me to let that bring me down. My previous employers didn’t support me and wanted to ignore it altogether but I knew I couldn’t do that. Other tenants also got upset, thinking we should just give in to their demands to get peace back in the building, and I couldn’t do that either. No one was thinking about me and my own mental well-being, so I had to.

I learned that true happiness comes from within, from embracing my passions and following my own path, regardless of what others may think. I had to start doing that once again and fight the toxic shame placed upon me by their words and actions in my name. It was hard, but I managed to do that this past couple of years. Sharing all that the toxic tenants refused to do, even my own bad actions, was the only way forward for me. The truth needed to come out and I needed to do all I could to protect myself. As they say, the truth will set you free and it did so for me.

To build a stronger mindset, I sought out like-minded individuals who shared similar passions and ambitions. I have become a firm believer in exposing the toxic behaviours that some people will show you, as it does help stop their abuse of you. Surrounding myself with a supportive community allowed me to see that pursuing my dreams was not only possible but also admirable. Their encouragement and belief in my abilities helped me to believe in myself once again. I read books and articles, learning all I could about the various toxic traits I was seeing, I still do though my interests have expanded recently.

I began to challenge the judgments made by others through education and open-minded discussions with others around me, online and off. By expanding my knowledge and understanding of different traits and perspectives, I was better equipped to counteract the judgments thrown my way. Engaging in thoughtful conversations, I learned to articulate my choices and aspirations, dispelling misconceptions and doubts.

Above all, I realized the importance of self-love and acceptance. I had neglected to validate myself for way too long! I started practicing self-care, investing time and energy into activities that brought me joy and fulfillment. I learned to silence the inner critic and acknowledge my own worth, regardless of toxic tenants’ opinions.

Through this journey of overcoming judgments, I have discovered that evolving mindsets is a continuous and ongoing process. It is not something that happens overnight but rather a lifelong commitment to growth and self-development. It has taken me the past 2 years to get to this point as it required a willingness to challenge societal norms and redefine success on my own terms.

I am now living a life that aligns with my true passions and values. The judgments made by others no longer have the power to hold me back. I have grown in confidence, knowing that my choices and aspirations are valid and worthy. I no longer seek validation from external sources but instead find it within myself.

In conclusion, judgments made by others can have a profound impact on our lives, shaping our mindset and limiting our potential. However, it is crucial to recognize that these judgments do not define us. We have the power to overcome them by embracing our passions, surrounding ourselves with supportive individuals, challenging misconceptions, and practicing self-love. As we evolve our mindsets and prioritize our own happiness, we can create a life that is authentic and fulfilling, free from the constraints of others’ judgments.


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