Share: Psychology Today: How to Have a Strong Sense of Self and Build Self-Esteem

I am sharing with you today this article I read yesterday on Psychology Today. I read this article 3 times when I found it, as I wanted to absorb it.

I came to see the strategies noted in this post are what I have been working on since I left ON just over 3 years ago, as my self-esteem took a major hit from being cyberbullied. I have been very intentional in what I have done to help regain my sense of self once again and none of it was dependent on anyone else, it was all internal. I have been grounding myself in my own values, beliefs, and desires, and learning to live authentically according to them.

One of the non-negotiables I have developed is that I refuse to allow strangers to get away with spreading my personal name all over the internet without my permission. If someone has a problem with me, talk to me, otherwise, they are more than welcome to go to the proper authorities and prove it. No one has a right to bash me and my name in personally titled websites, I don’t care who you are or what you think I have done. If these Toxic people really feel the need to share their opinions and many assumptions, don’t use my name!

I have found my voice and have no problem sharing it with the world. I was affected by something millions of other individuals have gone through since the beginning of time: bullying. It is a societal issue, not just personal to me and I have become very strong in my belief that it needs to be stopped. I know the damage these acts can do to the psychological health of others and it is worth speaking up about!

I truly have come to believe that as a whole, everyone needs to speak up about Adults who Bully others, no matter the reason or the platform, and find a way to force people to stop doing it. It is too harmful to the victims of such acts and in the end, the effects spread to society.

Does this article speak to you too?


  • Having a strong sense of self and self-esteem is about knowing and embracing who you truly are.
  • Having non-negotiables protects us from situations or people that may strip us of our sense of value.
  • Keeping promises to ourselves shows us that we are reliable and capable of taking care of ourselves.

Having a strong sense of self and self-esteem is about knowing and embracing who you truly are, independent of external influences or the need for validation from others. It’s about being grounded in your own values, beliefs, and desires, and living authentically according to them.

Developing a strong sense of self is a lifelong journey, and building self-esteem requires self-reflection and intentional actions. Here are some strategies that can help you build your sense of self and self-esteem if you feel like you need to work on those areas.

  1. Having non-negotiables: Non-negotiables play a significant role in building self-esteem because they establish a foundation of self-worth and self-respect. When we set non-negotiables, we draw clear boundaries that determine what we are no longer willing to compromise about ourselves. This act of self-assertion sends a powerful message that we value ourselves and our well-being. By having non-negotiables, we protect ourselves from situations or people that may strip us of our sense of value. It allows us to prioritize our needs and stand up for what truly matters to us. This act of self-protection fosters a sense of empowerment and self-confidence, which are essential components of self-esteem. When we consistently honor our non-negotiables, we reinforce a positive self-image. We demonstrate to ourselves that we are deserving of respect, and we deserve to have our needs met. This practice cultivates self-trust and self-acceptance, which are vital for building self-esteem. Moreover, non-negotiables help us stay true to ourselves and maintain our sense of identity. When we have a clear understanding of our values and boundaries, we are less likely to compromise our authenticity or lose ourselves in relationships or situations. This alignment with our true selves contributes to a stronger sense of self and, in turn, boosts our self-esteem. Non-negotiables are an essential tool for building self-esteem as they establish boundaries, protect our sense of value, and reinforce self-worth. By honoring our non-negotiables, we cultivate self-respect, self-empowerment, and a deeper connection with our authentic selves, all of which contribute to a healthier and more robust self-esteem.
  2. Committing to promises you make to yourself: Keeping promises to oneself is crucial for building self-esteem because it demonstrates self-love and self-trust. When we consistently follow through on the promises we make to ourselves, we send a powerful message that we value our own well-being and prioritize our own needs. This action of keeping promises to ourselves is a tangible way of showing ourselves that we are reliable and capable of taking care of ourselves. Breaking promises to ourselves, on the other hand, can have a detrimental effect on our self-esteem. It creates a sense of disappointment and self-doubt, eroding our self-trust and self-worth. Each time we break a promise to ourselves, it’s like puncturing our self-esteem balloon, causing it to deflate. By committing to the promises we make to ourselves, whether it’s setting boundaries, pursuing personal goals, or prioritizing self-care, we reinforce a positive self-image. We start to believe in our own abilities and develop a sense of self-respect. This process of keeping promises to ourselves builds a foundation of self-esteem, allowing us to navigate life with greater confidence and self-assurance.
  3. Standing on your truth: Standing on your truth means embracing and living in alignment with your authentic self, values, and beliefs. It involves being honest with yourself and others about who you are, what you believe in, and what matters to you. Standing on your truth requires taking action and expressing yourself in a way that is genuine and true to your innermost self. When you stand on your truth, you are not swayed by external pressures or the expectations of others. You have a clear understanding of your own needs, desires, and boundaries, and you honor them without compromising your authenticity. It means being unapologetically yourself, even if it means challenging the status quo or facing resistance from others. Standing on your truth also means being willing to listen to your inner voice and intuition. It involves trusting your own judgment and making choices that align with your values, even if they may be difficult or unpopular. It requires courage and self-acceptance to embrace your truth and live it authentically, regardless of the opinions or reactions of others. Ultimately, standing on your truth is about living a life that is true to who you are at your core. It empowers you to create meaningful connections, make choices that align with your values, and experience a sense of fulfillment and authenticity. By embracing your truth and living it fully, you can cultivate a deeper sense of self and create a positive impact on yourself and the world around you.
  4. Finding your voice: Finding your voice means discovering and expressing your unique perspective, thoughts, and opinions in a way that is authentic and true to who you are. It involves uncovering your innermost beliefs, values, and desires, and having the courage to share them with the world. When you find your voice, you tap into your individuality and embrace your own way of thinking and expressing yourself. It goes beyond simply having something to say; it’s about finding the confidence and authenticity to speak up and be heard. Finding your voice is a process of self-discovery and self-expression. It requires self-reflection, introspection, and a willingness to explore your own thoughts and emotions. It’s about understanding what truly matters to you and having the courage to communicate it to others. Your voice is your gift, and it is what sets you apart from others. It’s the unique combination of your experiences, perspectives, and values that shape your way of expressing yourself. Just like a fingerprint, your voice is distinct and cannot be replicated by anyone else. When you find your voice, you become more empowered and confident in expressing your ideas and standing up for what you believe in. It allows you to connect with others on a deeper level, as your authentic voice resonates with those who appreciate and relate to your perspective.
  5. Discovering your wants and needs: Wants are the things that you desire or wish for. They can be related to your personal life, relationships, career, hobbies, or any other area that holds significance for you. Discovering your wants involves introspection and reflection on what truly brings you joy, excitement, and a sense of purpose. Needs, on the other hand, are the essential requirements for your well-being and growth. They are the fundamental aspects that contribute to your physical, emotional, and psychological health. Needs can include things like love, connection, safety, self-care, personal growth, and fulfillment. By discovering your wants and needs, you gain clarity about what truly matters to you. It helps you make choices and decisions that align with your values and bring you closer to a fulfilling and meaningful life. It also allows you to set boundaries and communicate your needs effectively to others, fostering healthier relationships and self-care practices. To discover your wants and needs, take the time for self-reflection. Ask yourself what brings you joy, what activities make you feel fulfilled, and what aspects of your life are essential for your well-being. Pay attention to your emotions, desires, and the things that energize you. Journaling, therapy, or conversations with trusted friends or mentors can also be helpful in the process of self-discovery.
  6. Traveling, if possible: Exploring new places and cultures can broaden your perspective, challenge your assumptions, and help you discover more about yourself. Embrace the discomfort that comes with the unknown and learn to adapt to different environments. Travel can be a transformative experience that boosts self-esteem.

Remember, building a strong sense of self and self-esteem is a gradual process. Be patient with yourself and celebrate small victories along the way. It requires self-reflection, self-compassion, and a willingness to embrace your true self. By consistently practicing these strategies and nurturing your sense of self, you can cultivate a stronger self-esteem and a deeper sense of self-worth.

How to Have a Strong Sense of Self and Build Self-Esteem | Psychology Today Canada

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