Recovering from Gaslighting

You can recover from Gaslighting.

I was gaslit, manipulated, and made to doubt my own perception of reality. It was a psychological and emotional rollercoaster that left me feeling vulnerable and confused for many years. It took educating myself on these Traits that helped me overcome them!

Seeing your personal feelings being discounted so openly in the content of their websites for so long, was hard. It felt as though my thoughts and emotions were being swept aside, disregarded, and undermined without any consideration. It made me question the value of my own perspectives and opinions over time.

As you are aware, Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where the perpetrator uses tactics to make their target question their own sanity, memories, and experiences. The effects of gaslighting can be long-lasting, as it was for me, leading to a loss of self-confidence, trust, and a distorted sense of reality. I hid from the World for a long time!

I came to understand that it’s so important to recognize and address gaslighting when it occurs, seeking support from trusted friends, family, or professionals to regain clarity and emotional well-being. I spent the past few years doing just that!

When I came across the new text on stellareddy.com, which stated that “stella reddy is going crazy,” it immediately validated all I have learned about Gaslighters! The use of terms like “crazy” and similar derogatory labels like “racist” is a common strategy used by toxic people to exert control over their targets.

Gaslighters seek to distort my reality, trying to make me doubt my own sanity and question my perceptions. These Gaslighters often employed various tactics, such as lying, negating my feelings and experiences, shifting blame onto me, and even twisting the truth to make themselves appear in the right.

They went out of their way to deliberately undermine my self-confidence, question my abilities and created a constant sense of uncertainty to maintain control over me with the content of their many domains in my name.

It is important to recognize and address gaslighting behaviours in order to protect oneself from further harm. Understanding the dynamics of gaslighting empowers individuals to regain their sense of self and establish healthy boundaries.

Educating myself on the signs of gaslighting was the first step in combating this harmful behaviour. Identifying gaslighting can be challenging, as gaslighters are skilled at manipulating and deceiving others. However, by familiarizing yourself with common red flags, such as constant contradictions, minimizing your concerns, or invalidating your emotions, you can start to recognize when gaslighting is occurring.

Once you become aware of gaslighting behaviour, it is essential to assert your own reality and set boundaries. Trusting your intuition, gathering evidence, and seeking support from trusted friends, family, or professionals can help validate your experiences and provide the strength to confront the gaslighter. Remember, you have the right to your own thoughts, feelings, and perceptions, and no one should undermine or invalidate them.

By understanding gaslighting and asserting your truth, you can break free from its emotionally damaging effects and regain control over your life. Mental well-being should always be a priority, and eliminating toxic relationships is a significant step toward cultivating a healthy and empowering environment.

Remember, you are worthy of respect, understanding, and validation, don’t ever let anyone else tell you otherwise!

So these Toxic Tenants can continue showing their gaslighting tendencies to the readers of their websites. Whether it’s spreading misinformation or fueling unnecessary drama, it’s clear that their intentions are far from noble.

However, amidst this chaos, there is hope.

It’s crucial to remember that the internet is not inherently toxic; it is the people who choose to use it to spread negativity.

So, let’s rise above the toxicity and use our platforms to bring about meaningful change. Let’s be the voices of reason, compassion, and understanding. Together, we can build a digital community that values respect, empathy, and growth, not bullying and division!

Have a look at the Psychological Today article I share on Gaslighting and the new research that shows it is possible to recover from it, as I have. Taking the time to rebuild my self-esteem, was well worth it.

No more hiding for me!


https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/some-assembly-required/202308/what-exactly-is-gaslighting-and-why-do-people-do-it

One major theme that emerged was gaslighting as an attempt to avoid accountability, most often for infidelity-related actions. The second motivation was a more general desire to control the survivor, to dictate how they behaved, who they had contact with, what they wore, etc.

Primary effects of gaslighting

The researchers identified three notable adverse effects on people who’d been gaslit:

  • A diminished sense of self with increased uncertainty
  • Increased guardedness
  • Increased mistrust of others

In direct contrast, healthy relationships generally reduce one’s feelings of uncertainty, expand the sense of self, and create a sense of shared reality. Gaslighting destroys any semblance of a sense of shared reality and seeks to create two separate, effectively competing realities and convince the victim that only the perpetrator’s version is valid.

The most classic example is directly calling someone “crazy” and outright dismissing their perception of reality. Other common insults used by gaslighters include “stupid,” “irrational,” or “needy.” The gaslighter gets their partner to question their perceptions and uses this uncertainty to undermine their judgment and boundaries as a way of controlling them.

While most victims of gaslighting in the study recovered relatively quickly after separating from their gaslighter, a few felt enduring uncertainty and remained unsure of themselves, according to the researchers. The experience of being gaslit has the potential to alter one’s views on other social interactions, affecting the ability to trust and leading to greater vigilance and being on guard with others.

Recovery and post-traumatic growth are possible after being gaslit.

For those participants who reported some degree of recovery, certain themes emerged. For many, ending the relationship with the perpetrator and spending time with others brought rapid relief from the negative effects of gaslighting. Beyond spending time with others, engaging in re-embodying activities—such as yoga, meditation, Qi Gong, hiking, and sports—that lead to a greater sense of connection with one’s physical self and expand opportunities for introspection helped to facilitate healing.

If you ever have the sense that you are being gaslit, it’s beneficial to involve other people and to seek the feedback of trusted others. If a partner is telling you that you’re acting irrationally about something, reach out to friends or family and ask them if they’ve noticed the behavior the abuser is criticizing. Getting feedback outside the relationship is essential because gaslighting can be so effective in causing people to doubt their own perceptions and actions.

The most important positive takeaway from this new research is that it is absolutely possible to move on and grow beyond that experience to build healthier relationships after being involved with a gaslighter.


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