Cyberbullying

The making and posting of websites on the internet are also Cyberbullying, I have learned. It isn’t just social media where you see repeated offensive, threatening, humiliating or otherwise harmful interactions, as it is very easy for a person to register a domain in someone else’s personal name so they can make the degradation more personal to them. stellareddy.com is the name I was born with and used in my employment and lorriereddy.com is the nickname I grew up with and a name my family and close friends use. 859kennedyroad.com is the address of the property all this occurred in. davidstrashin.com is about the lawyer for the owners in Divisional Court, and sjtomemberlkevinlundy.com is the adjudicator with Landlord and Tenant Board and the individual who presided over their hearing that led to their eviction. There were more sites, sjtomembervandanapatel.com and socialjusticetribunalsontario.ca, but they are no longer registered for use.

Each person who played a part in their Eviction from their apartment in 2017 got a personally titled domain in their name to make the cyberbullying more personal.

These domain contents are not written by me as you would think, but by a previous Tenant who got mad at me for playing a part in their eviction from an apartment building I worked in back in 2017. These websites are revenge for them. Everything they do is about retribution! The pictures they share were taken from stalking our social media and they also share some of the documentation from their applications with the Human Rights Tribunal Of Ontario they applied for in June 2018.

Every personal thing they could find, they share on the domain contents with their very malicious speculations with it! They speculate on every aspect of the personal lives of people they obviously don’t know on that level. lorrireddy.com, the new domain as of July 2022, is their latest dig at my character online. They must have been doing some searching to find my new Facebook they share there!

They just love implying that they know you well enough to write what they do! They pretend to know me well enough to claim I “smelled of alcohol” when I went to their door for entry in August 2017. That comment was made as a derogatory one, yet, they didn’t know I don’t drink! I never really acquired a taste for alcohol and anyone who knows me, even a little bit, would know that. I never drink, not even in social situations. I prefer a cold can or glass of Coke to alcohol!

They consistently refused access for repairs, even ones they requested, because the timing of entry was not convenient for them. Between pest control treatments, glass replacement for windows, and annual fire inspection, all were met with a written letter of refusal of entry as they claimed the timing was “inconvenient” for them. Inconvenience for entry is not in the Residential Tenancy Act of Ontario. They broke the rules and thought it would be accepted but their written refusals instead got them evicted. They are mad as they wanted me to accommodate them all the time over the entry for repairs and inspections and wanted it all to proceed on their terms, not the contractors we had to bring in.

They were being totally unreasonable in their Tenancy and the content of their websites shows all the demands they made. There was no free parking given, Tenants are not allowed to deduct funds from their rent, no matter what it was for, and Tenants could not deny Entry, no matter the reason either! These Tenants broke so many rules of rentals in Ontario and they show all of that in their contents!

As a result of that a Smear campaign was born in their minds on the internet and I am being Cyberbullied since November 2017, with everyone else who took part.

2 1/2 months after I moved in to live and work there in 2016 they sent a 7-page letter claiming a meeting where I apparently made inappropriate comments to them and asked her where she was from. They never said then where they claim this meeting took place, not even the comments they claim I said. During that 2 1/2 months they refused pest control and only accommodated treatment after they received a From N5 for refusing access to it, and this letter is in response to that. They were mad I refused to accept cash too for rental payments due to the fact that I didn’t want to have cash in the office to be attacked over and I asked that all propane BBQ be removed for safety. I had been attacked before over cash in the office at rent time and I didn’t want to experience that anymore just for the convenience of this Tenant who was the only person at that time paying in cash.

In that 2 1/2 months, they never mentioned this fantasy meeting, not to me during any interactions we had, not even to the property owners. Yet, they claim this alleged meeting was terrible for them to experience. They didn’t mention this fantasy meeting, as it didn’t happen. The details of their false allegations of Racism only came out in the LTB hearing on Sept 26, 2017, over a year later.

I was doing my job and because these Adult Bullies didn’t like how I was doing it, they decided to Bully me, hoping the nastiness they dished out would cause me to give in to them and what they wanted. Bullies are all about gaining control and causing harm to their targets. You can see all that in the contents of their many websites!

It is the pervasive nature of Cyberbullying that got to me, as it is always there, waiting to be found and read by even more strangers to me. It was very fear-inducing for me, knowing strangers were reading about my personal life that was shared without my permission on these sites. The allegations of racism in such a social climate in Ontario at that time, also created deep intense fear of being recognized and attacked, verbally or physically. I became very hypervigilant and still am to a point though not as bad as I was.

I had the mistaken belief that everyone would think as the Adult Bullies do about me, as the constant gaslighting they did, made me think that. It was only once I fully accepted that I am not to blame for this situation, I realized that it is ONLY these Bullies who feel that way about me and they are trying to force readers of their content also to believe them. I released the Toxic Shame I felt as I came to realize that no one will believe their narratives, they are too fantastical to believe. Besides, it is easy to tell by their contents that they are making it up, as it is impossible for them to know such intimate details of another person’s life when you are not a part of it. Their comments over me smelling of alcohol gave it away to people who have met me over my lifetime!

As for strangers who have read those sites, it has been my experience that as soon as they meet me, they know I am not as described within the contents of them.

I came to see that person being Bullied online doesn’t really exist. It is a fantasy Stella Reddy created in their imagination to fit the scenarios they were pushing, that I was a racist. They claim that handwritten notes I made on the Notice of Entry in their tenant file, were “forged” and “after the fact”, implying it was “illegal”. Yes, it is common practice to make notes on copies of documents in the Tenants’ file, such as no entry gained, with the date and my initials. They use various techniques such as comparison with others, and so many of their own personal speculation to create that person using parts of things I wrote or said. They don’t share everything, just the stuff that makes you look bad.

Writing as an anonymous “Administrator” also shows you that this person intends to hide his name as he knows what he does is wrong. They try to hide and there is no way for anyone to contact them about their sites either.

Over the past year, I have come to feel Pity for these Adult Bullies. All the education I have gotten over Narcissism, toxic people, gaslighting and the rest, has shown me they have to live with their pathology, all the time. If you read any of these Adult Bullies websites I shared here, you will see the arrogance on display as it hides their severe insecurity. For them to claim that every person they have a problem with is a racist person, there is something seriously wrong with their thinking.

In the past 6 1/2 years, they have made various personally titled websites where the contents are about another individual, not themselves. They write so much about other people and have so many websites in other people’s names or the name of their business, all created to negatively affect that individual’s life. It is also affecting their own lives, as living in resentment and jealousy all the time, is also terrible for your mental health. Being so mired as they are in the lives of other people, they must not have time to live their own lives. It must be a terrible existence!

I feel sorry for now and I hope they are also getting counselling! I know from personal experience that writing about other people does tend to affect you also in a negative manner. It is hard to be living with negative thinking all the time and it will affect the writer too. I have made my own sites and ended up feeling bad over them, so they are online no more. This one, I try really hard to not be all negative! I know now what they do, and why, which helps alleviate some of their effects on my own mental health these days.

I don’t feel negative all the time anymore as I got myself out of that. Mindfulness is a very helpful tool when dealing with Adult Bullies and the cyberbullying they do in your name. Living in the present, feeling gratitude for where you are and what you have at this moment, has helped save my mental health and I have become stronger. By reaching out to others, getting help and reporting your situation to the proper authorities, even if it leads nowhere in the criminal system, you still get relief for getting your Story out there! Tell your Story, spread it far and wide, just as they have spread their gossip and lies, and in time, you will feel better for releasing it.

Making your own website and writing about your experience, will also help you come to terms with it all and reach a level of acceptance that the bullying no longer bothers you. I have reached that level and their actions in my name no longer bother me. I have learned that they have more mental health problems than I do and that they have to live with them for life. Seeing racism in every person and situation must be terrible. Thinking up new words and ways to Bully people online must also be hard.

I am glad to see they learned something from me about Bullying, as noted on the connaughtpublicschool.com website about protecting yourself from Bullies by wearing a Body Cam! I bought one for myself and my hubby in 2017 and we wore it all the time while out on the property. I have saved everything that shows me being Bullied by Tenants there they got at, as well as I caught them out in the Lobby at times talking to Tenants about me and it was a helpful tool at the time.

I have learned so much this past year that helped me recover from their Bullying ways, the most important is to know I am who I am and I know what I am all about, not these prior Tenants. I came back to myself, not the version of me they tried to create with their words and speculations.

Learn about these Traits and what Bullies will do, it will help you, immensely. Move if you can and start over! Read posters, Blogs, and even science articles, it will help. Most of all, seek counselling! Don’t be afraid, it is for your benefit and that should be your main concern, looking after YOURSELF! In time, you will reach a level of acceptance as I have in knowing that Toxic people can say whatever they want, but no one will believe them as they are not YOU!

Mother Nature has also helped me in my healing journey. As I live in NL, surrounded by the Atlantic Ocean and so much beautiful scenery, I spend as much time as I can outside, even if it’s just my own backyard! I have spent the past year walking the trails and sitting by the Ocean, watching the waves and taking in all the smells and sounds. It helped with mindfulness too, focusing on the present moment and where I was. It got me out of my head and the remuneration that was there over the Bullies’ words online all the time. Over time, I found other things to think about!

I came to see that what they did is temporary, no matter how long they keep it online, the effects of it were Temporary too. In time, I knew I would recover, as I am determined to do so. They won’t, as they refuse to do so. They live their lives looking for other people to blame for issues they experience, just look at all their websites. They are not mature enough to accept accountability for their own actions, all their domains show me that.

Remember, these Adult Bullies are TEMPORARY! Eventually, the truth is exposed over time, and you reach a point of recovery from it all that it no longer gets to you. It is history, you can move on and live your life, knowing that no one believes them anymore.

Cyberbullying is bullying with the use of electronic devices and is prone to causing mental health issues such as depression and anxiety for both the victim and perpetrator. Cyberbullying can come in many forms, such as texting derogatory messages, sending threatening e-mails, forwarding confidential pictures or messages, or posting on social media forums, and can become just as serious as traditional bullying.

What is cyberbullying?

Bullying is deliberate and unprovoked aggressive behavior that is actioned repeatedly, usually by someone in a position of power over the victim, be it physical, social, or psychological, in an effort to cause harm. Cyberbullying specifies this action when performed via electronic devices, over the internet, or by texting and calling.

Clearly, physical interactions are limited over remote devices. Thus, cyberbullying usually takes the form of repeated offensive, threatening, humiliating, or otherwise harmful interactions, often with added complications owing to the anonymity and around-the-clock access of cyberbullies to their victims.

The form that bullying takes and the frequency with which it occurs varies culturally and demographically, though it occurs amongst children and teens at similar rates despite wealth and education level. Over a quarter of adolescents are involved in traditional bullying as bullies, victims, or both, and it is thought that rates of cyberbullying are likely similar or higher.

The role of social media in cyberbullying

As people become more familiarized with and exposed to social media, the opportunity to cyberbully increases. Social media platforms that allow free and open commenting can become a very fearful environment for cyberbullying victims, where threats, aggressive, demotivating, or offensive comments or messages, or edited pictures or videos, can be made and shared outside of the victim’s control before they have chance to respond.

Embarressment over the issue can lead to people hiding online bullying from their friends and family in real life, further fuelling feelings of isolation, depression, and anxiety. A lack of awareness and support can also create a barrier for the victims to open up about their problems and lead to unstable mental health.

The mental health of cyberbullies

Studies on the psychology of traditional bullies show that they tend to feel more positive attitudes toward aggressive retaliation, indifference or satisfaction when bullying or seeing others bullied and that the victim deserves it. Unsurprisingly, these individuals often show a weak or moderate relationship between empathy and bullying others.

The greater anonymity and wider audience available to cyberbullies have been thought to play into feelings of power experienced by cyberbullies. The lack of immediate response to their actions has been suggested to encourage even harsher bullying. Many cyberbullies are also traditional bullies, and the lack of empathy displayed by such individuals is likely to be magnified without direct human interaction and immediate response to their aggression.

Evidence shows that the constant and pervasive nature of cyberbullying frequently leads to more detrimental outcomes for victims than traditional bullying, particularly depression symptoms. Given this correlation, it has been speculated that the mental health effects of cyberbullying on the perpetrator could differ from that imposed on traditional bullies.

Rates of stress, depression, and anxiety are higher amongst students involved in cyberbullying than those not, with Ybarra and Mitchell (2004) reporting that of those who cyberbullied, 39% dropped out of school, 37% showed delinquent behavior,  32% engaged in frequent substance abuse, and 16% were severely depressed. Other studies suggest that depression rates are lower amongst cyberbullies than traditional bullies, though, as mentioned, the two groups often strongly overlap.

Similarities and differences to conventional bullying

Demographically, female students show a higher risk of becoming depressed as a result of cyberbullying than male students and may be more likely to be involved as both perpetrators and victims. A study conducted by Beckman et al. (2009) showed that traditional victims of bullying were roughly equally likely to be male or female, while girls are somewhat more likely to be cyberbullied than boys.

https://www.news-medical.net/health/The-Impact-of-Cyberbullying-on-Mental-Health.aspx