I did a search this morning in Google for Adult Bullies and you would be surprised over how many new articles, Blogs, and posts have popped up online since the last time I searched this term! Adult Bullying is becoming a hot topic these days.
It doesn’t surprise me. The pandemic and financial instability, create a lot of insecurities in people and some, want to make everyone feel as miserable as they do, so they bully others. To me though, there is never a good excuse to Bully someone else and make them feel bad. Your experiences are yours and someone else does not have the same, no matter the situation. Being a Bully just makes lives miserable, it doesn’t help anyone.
I have learned that more individuals don’t let Bullying words get to them. I have met quite a few people who have been Bullied and they are not fazed at all. On the other hand, I was. It doesn’t make me a weak person, just someone who is sensitive. I never experienced Bullying before and didn’t know what to expect. The cruelty being shown toward another human being is what got to me and trying to understand something I now know I never will, also made it more confusing.
I had to stop trying to understand why these Bullies were doing what they were and just learn to accept it and know I will never understand it. Once I changed my mindset from why is this happening to me to understanding why it was bothering me so much, I started getting better and more able to manage my emotions.
This was the worst experience of my life. I lost so much of myself and my safe view of this world and my place within it, and it is a long and hard road back. I had to deal with a Narcissistic Adult Bully, who is very self-centred, who intimidates and criticizes his targets and it is a lifestyle for them, making and posting personally titled websites where they degrade, shame and humiliate their targets with their meddling and unsolicited advice. They didn’t get what they wanted from me so found new Targets to terrorize.
It needs to stop. It is creating a society where Bullying is accepted because no one wants to stand up to them, afraid they too will become a target. It is a neverending cycle that needs to change before society loses too many good people to the effects!
Narcissistic Adult Bully: This type of bully is a self-centered adult who lacks empathy for others and does not worry about consequences for his/her inappropriate behaviors. This bully belittles and intimidates victims. This bully is self-centered and outwardly appears to feel good about him or herself, but has serious mental health issues that requires putting others down. Bullying is a lifestyle for this type of bully.
A recent poll found 25% of adults report having experienced the ”silent treatment” from an individual or group on a repeated basis as an adult. And, approximately 20% have had someone spread lies about them that no one refutes. Scary, isn’t it? Did you realize these are bullying behaviors?
Often times, the bullying behavior has less to do with the victim and more to do with a bully who needs to find a “way out” of a problem. Thus, as part of a solution to a problem, the bully places blame on someone else for the problem. These instances occur especially when an adult bully has an problem with EGO.
Characteristics of an Adult Bully
Characteristically, an adult bully gains power in a relationship by reducing the victim’s power, and has little regard for any consequences to a victim’s health or wellbeing. Bullies don’t have the capacity to feel anything for their victims. Additionally, you can usually discover that the bully repeats this behavior from one victim to the next over the course of time. It becomes a set pattern and way of life for the bully.
Bullies are not interested in working things out or comprising. They are more interested in power and domination. They want to feel as though they are important and preferred, and they accomplish this by bringing others down. They also tend to gang up with others who have bullying personalities.
Adult bullies were often either bullies as children, or bullied as children. Understanding this about them may help a compassionate victim cope better with the behavior, but it can also be quite challenging.
Adult bullies can be parents, teachers, coaches, lawyers, judges, and other authority figures. They can also be romantic partners, colleagues, acquaintances, family members, and community leaders. You would be surprised where adult bullies can be found. They often come across as confident, or even arrogant — maybe even comedic — but deep down adult bullies suffer from low self-esteem and a lack of empathy for others. They may also be people who engage in personal abusive relationships. And, workplace bullying is becoming more common every day.
Here are a few types of adult bullies and how they behave toward their victims:
- Narcissistic Adult Bully: This type of bully is a self-centered adult who lacks empathy for others and does not worry about consequences for his/her inappropriate behaviors. This bully belittles and intimidates victims. This bully is self-centered and outwardly appears to feel good about him or herself, but has serious mental health issues that requires putting others down. Bullying is a lifestyle for this type of bully.
- Impulsive Adult Bully: Adult bullies in this category are more spontaneous and do not tend to plan out their bullying behaviors. This type of bully has difficulty demonstrating appropriate social behaviors with his/her victim even knowing there may be consequences for unacceptable behaviors. Sometimes, this type of bully acts out during periods of stress unrelated to the victim, and the bullying may be unintentional.
- Physical Bully: Adult bullying rarely turns to physicality. If it does however, it should be turned over to law enforcement. There may even be a component of domestic violence involved. An adult bully may use a threat of physical harm, or physical domination over the victim. Or the bully may damage or steal the victim’s property rather than physically confronting the victim.
- Verbal Adult Bully: This type of bully uses words to damage and intimidate the victim. The bully may start rumors, use demeaning language toward or about the victim, and/or humiliate the victim. This kind of bullying is problematic for the victim because it’s difficult to document and the bully can often “get away with it” for longer periods of time — thus, empowering the bully. Unfortunately, there can be significant emotional and psychological harm to the victim and bystanders of verbal abuse because it often results in reduced job performance, anxiety, or even depression.
- Secondary Adult Bully: This is a bully who does not initiate the bullying but joins in on the bullying for personal gain, or fear of future problems with the bully. This type of bully may feel bad about what is happening but is more concerned about him or herself. This can be seen with people who have a desire to move up the ladder and feel they must go along with the bullying in order to keep themselves in the pecking order.
- Passive-Aggressive Bully: These bullies are very difficult to deal with because they are cunning and smart. They act amicable on the outside but take unexpected swings at their victims. They may even be able to bully in subtle and silent ways. They typically like sarcasm and gossip. They may roll their eyes, make rude facial expressions and mimic their victims. But then, they may even pretend to be a victim and turn the tables on you when talking with others.
- Tangible/Material Bully: These types of bullies like to use their formal power, like being your boss or manager. Or, they have some sort of authority or control over your finances, which they use to intimidate you and others.
I sincerely hope you’ve never been a victim of adult bullying. It’s rampant in today’s world because of the pressures we all face, and sadly some people are unable to deal with their demons appropriately, especially under pressure. Others just have character flaws that make them think it’s acceptable to be adult bullies, and as soon as their latest victim is gone, they’ll find a new one! It’s a crying shame.https://www.sassysisterstuff.com/tips-for-dealing-with-an-adult-bully/#Is_There_an_Adult_Bully_in_Your_Life