I made a lot of mistakes at the beginning of the Smear Campaign against me back in 2016-2017, as I did react emotionally and I did try to persuade other Tenants within the property of their lies over time. I even made my own website, thinking to share my side of the Story to try and convince others they were lying. I did have a few regrets over my own actions to their taunts and false allegation and but it was a new experience for me and I didn’t know what to do. I accept that and now know the difference. I forgive myself for what I didn’t know then!
That is the thing, isn’t it? I had to learn about narcissism, toxic people, and adult bullies with their many tactics of triangulation, manipulation, and gaslighting before I could see the whole picture and get out of my head and the extreme fear that was in there. I had to see I had nothing to be afraid of as these Bullies just have no power. Nothing they could ever say or do could cause anyone to attack me, they just did not have the influence! Even now with lorriereddy.com, I have been shown no one cares what they say!
It took time for me to forgive myself for not knowing how to manage this situation in a better manner than I did, as I was drowning in Toxic Shame that was being projected onto me at every turn from false allegations they were constantly making. This situation started in July 2016 and still has no end in sight!
Toxic shame is a feeling that you’re worthless. It happens when other people treat you poorly and you turn that treatment into a belief about yourself.https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-is-toxic-shame#:~:text=Toxic%20shame%20is%20a%20feeling,childhood%20or%20as%20a%20teen.
While the Adult Bullies claim I was feeling “guilty” there is a big difference between Toxic Shame and Guilt! I had nothing to feel guilty about as I didn’t do anything wrong and I broke no rules. The only regret I have for that time, was allowing the opinions of others, including the property owners, to convince me to ignore the letter filled with their allegations on August 31, 2016. I didn’t “force” these Tenants to deny access when it was requested and didn’t even ask for them to put their denial in writing like they did all the time either. They broke the Rules of Entry, persistently and consistently from July 2016 till they were taken to the Tribunal in Sept 2017 and that is all on them. They are responsible for that choice.
While being evicted is a nasty process, it was easily avoided by following the rules. No, I didn’t care that they had things to do in a run of a day as my work hours were the same as any business, 9-5, and I was not required to get permission for entry from a Tenant. The Residential Tenancies Act wasn’t perfect, but it was there and I followed it for the safety of everyone, not just me. The only reason this apartment wasn’t entered when the notice was given, was because the dog that they talk about in the site below, was left to run loose in the apartment and that alone would prevent someone from entering, as it did for me! Dogs are supposed to be secured to gain safe entry to an apartment.
What’s the Difference Between Shame and Guilt?
These two emotions are often confused with one another. You feel guilt when you know that you did something wrong. It can be a helpful emotion when maintaining relationships. Guilt can keep you on track when you’ve drifted from your moral standards.
But you feel shame when you believe you’re not enough, usually because parents or peers keep telling you so. Your confidence suffers from this deep-seated emotion that affects the way you see yourself.
Guilt tells you, “That thing you did was wrong.” Shame tells you, “Because you did that thing, you’re a bad person.”https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-is-toxic-shame#:~:text=Toxic%20shame%20is%20a%20feeling,childhood%20or%20as%20a%20teen.
I was being made into a bad person for doing my job and enforcing the rules, that’s all this was! Having PTSD already from 1991 also didn’t help me, as explained by my Doctor, the Trauma of being attacked so severely on a daily basis set off my survival mode and I just reacted. My paranoia became very extreme over the personal info that was shared on a public website with their many lies in 859kennedyroad.com. PTSD to me has always been fear-based and anxiety-driven and these Tenant Bullies played on my fear, very well at that! Every which way, they Triangulated me with the other Tenants and property owners, stirring up trouble and angst, every single day. I even sat in the office at times with this Bully out in the Lobby nabbing other Tenants as they came and went, about their false allegations and requests to join the Tenants Association they tried to start. I heard so many malicious things being said about me, all while I had to remain quiet because of peer pressure.
I was also a very shy and private person and the public “exposure” of my private personal info they shared online debilitated me. I felt frozen, unable to move, for fear of more verbal abuse and fear of physical abuse. It was systematic psychological torture! Fear took over my life and seeing all the news at the time of toppled statues and all the articles on “Karen” all over the place, did not help. I was terrified that someone would come and attack me over the allegations of racism being made against me too!
During the process of legal actions like the Human Rights Tribunal of Ontario, I felt I had no choice but to respond to EVERY SINGLE EMAIL received from them from June 2018 till it ended January 2020, until I came to my senses once they started sending Form 10’s in September 2019. Once those frivolous Form 10’s started coming during that time, filled with their delaying bullshit, I knew without a doubt that the Forms were evidence of them scrambling with trying to put off the hearing that was scheduled for January 2020.
I knew by then that these Bullies were not going to show up for the hearing that was scheduled, they were making excuses to try and put it off. Remember they had 15 months to this point to show the evidence of their allegations against me and others and all they did was cause delays, as I believe they just enjoyed the process of getting to me like they were! They always refused to answer to their original allegation within their applications and just kept piling on even more over time, all once against without evidence!
All these websites owned and managed by these Adult Bullies show that they feel the need to WIN at all costs and have their “truth” adopted by others. They don’t feel any responsibility for the mess they made with websites on the internet, they feel “vindicated” for doing them and having their arrogant opinions posted so publicly!
I share below an article I found that explains what a Smear campaign is for your review. As it says a Smear is all about To win: Narcissists play to win in any situation. They have to be right about everything and their “truth” must be adopted by others. In addition, because of their inability to empathize with others and the fact they don’t feel responsible for their actions, they can easily tell lies that may seem extremely unreal to you and twist the truth.
If you had any doubts about these Adult Bullies continuing their Smearing of other Targets, keep reading below…they twist the truth when it is convenient for them.
A smear campaign is the systematic spread of a mass of lies or deceptive information in order to render somebody unreliable, disgraced and consequently isolate them. Narcissists and the other emotional manipulators are often unlikely to walk out of your life quietly and without trouble. Whether they are leaving you on their own free will or it’s you trying to set boundaries between yourself and them, it is possible that the narcissist will try to humiliate you by spreading unimaginable lies or misleading information about you as a result of a possible separation, thus damaging your reputation. While it is possible for the narcissist to spread false rumors about you during the relationship, the smear campaign gains speed and aggression during and after the separation.
The narcissist may try to ruin your relationship with your family and friends, spread rumors that may affect your business life, and do not hesitate to lie before the court if there are legal issues such as divorce and custody of children. Interestingly, the narcissist may not even be really eager about the things they are fighting for. For example; during a divorce, they may lie about you on everything and compete fiercely with you for custody of the children, but they may not even want to spend more time with the children. Or the fact they’re ruining your relationships with other people may not gain them anything. So the purpose behind a smear campaign is not always to get something.
– To win: Narcissists play to win in any situation. They have to be right about everything and their “truth” must be adopted by others. In addition, because of their inability to empathize with others and the fact they don’t feel responsible of their actions, they can easily tell lies that may seem extremely unreal to you and twist the truth.
– Do not try to persuade others: People will believe what they want to believe. You may not be able to persuade others whenever somebody lies about you. If you feel like some false information has been spread about you, try to explain yourself but also accept that you cannot change other people’s minds. And if you think that you’re dealing with individuals who are under the influence of the narcissist, do not even bother yourself and simply put some distance between yourself and them. Instead of going after the things you can’t change, focus on what you can change.
– Get ready for projection: Be prepared for the narcissist to reflect what they are doing as the things you did. No matter how unrealistic it may seem, direct projection is a common method of narcissists. You may suddenly face a situation that makes you look like an abuser and them as a victim.
– Do not despair: A narcissist can explain themselves to any available listener, but remember that there will always be some people who’ll see right through their lies. Do not lose hope and do not condemn yourself to loneliness.
– Realize that you are lucky: No matter how difficult your situation may look due to the narcissist’s smear campaign, be grateful that they finally showed you their true colors. It is not so easy to do, but it will always be healthier for you to be able to see the facts as they are than lead an artificial life with them. Remind yourself that these dark days will eventually come to an end and a time will come when you start to feel more like yourself.
– Don’t go back to your old mistakes: Don’t criticize yourself and stop blaming yourself for what happened. Emotional and psychological abuse was not your fault.
– Get help: The smear campaign can affect your friendships, family life, and economic situation, but it is your psychology that it affects the most. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from a professional, a friend who can understand you, a loving family member, or even a stranger who has experienced the same things as you.https://medium.com/psychology-self-healing/the-narcissists-smear-campaign-4ea460bbbd05
I am grateful I got help in November 2018 and I felt no shame in it either. I have had to get therapy many times in my life and am very grateful I could do so, as it has helped me greatly to accept this situation for what it is. It helped me change my mindset and learn about mindfulness!
I shared some of this new domain before but with the additions of new pages the past few days, there can be no doubt this is just another Smear against another Target for not giving these Adult Bullies the treatment they felt they deserved. Bringing in comparisons of other Vets, and how they operate, to compare with the Vet he is bashing in the title of this domain, is a clear sign they are hoping to incite others against this person and affect his business in a negative way. I learned about this tactic when they did the same to me with Mark Meadows and Donald Trump in the contents of stellareddy.com.
They thought that writing about other people, who have been deemed by society as showing racist behaviours, to compare their actions with the perceived actions they claim I did, would get you to think that we are all the same, and I would be treated poorly as a result of that thinking. That is the use of comparison to make me feel “less than” and that I was a racist just because they said so. No difference here. They are trying to place toxic shame on this Vet named in the title of this domain for not behaving the same as someone else, making this Vet “less than” another Vet to others. What I find so funny is that I have never seen anything they do, get the result they wanted!
Comparing ourselves to others is toxic for so many reasons, but the one that’s most damaging is what it does to our self-worth. We feel “less than” when we compare, we feel like we are not good enough and that somehow we need to do better. This is a terrible place to be in.https://takecontroladhd.com/blog/category/comparing-yourself-to-others-is-toxic
I’ve had some people suggest their sites are just a “review of person or business” but these sites go way beyond that. Freedom of speech gives you the right to express yourself, but there’s a line between appropriate and inappropriate. These websites are very inappropriate and hold many statements that they have not yet proven to be true! This includes accusatory statements that are untrue or not yet proven to be true.
If you’ve had a negative experience, instead of pointing an angry finger, a more credible approach is to adopt a calm, sober tone. Simply explain what took place and leave it to readers of your review to draw their own conclusions. That is the purpose of a review at its core, to provide truthful information on your experience with the person or business, you definitely don’t name names and give addresses, personal and professional, nor even show pictures and how much salary they make. Including these items on this site, is a clear indication it is a vendetta for revenge and this means more than a “personal review” given.
I have come to see that the general public is too smart to just accept their narratives as written on their sites. It is well known that there are 2 sides to every situation and these Bullies don’t allow any space for that in their content. They make their implications and don’t care if it is true or not. You can see it very clearly on all their websites. My education has taught me a lot over the past few years and I am very grateful. It saved my life.